Not really a revolutionary sentiment; this is something people talk about a lot. But it leads to people living their lives as if theyâre on a stage in a literal sense where their homes become set dressing for the aspirational lifestyle they want to project with the purpose of creating monetized content thatâs palatable to an audience and to advertisers. Tiktok seemed to democratize this landscape quite a bit to where people who didnât fit the narrower expectations set on Instagram and YouTube were able to carve out niches for themselves, but these niches were still subject to specific visual languages, trends, and ârules.â And now that itâs almost certainly on deathâs doorstep, it should be interesting to see how this evolves.
If you want to share your authentic life you should do it authenticallyâitâs scary to bravely offer yourself up in such an unfiltered way but itâs where you currently are and itâs part of your story. You may not be happy with the way your house looks now but viewers might enjoy seeing your journey of becoming and the way the space you live in evolves with that! Sometimes you donât have to feel ready or confident enough to do something; the confidence can come with practice and familiarity. The hardest part is showing up! đ
Jan 14, 2025
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So I have a teeny tiny channel but it is one I am proud of and I had a similar issue as you are struggling with so I hope this helps:
1) Stop imagining what your hypothetical audience wants. I know if you have looked at advice online it seems counterintuitive because everyone tells you to fulfill a need etc. But something that I noticed when my channel got enough reach to sometimes get comments or reach 1k+ views is that there are many needs and desires in content that you haven't even thought of. I cannot tell you how many of the comments I get are glad to receive something that I made out of my own interest and assumed no one would ever watch.
2) Get someone you know to follow you. My sisters were amongst my first subscribers and when I first started my channel I considered not telling them because I was embarassed to be seen trying, and I thought that despite my interest in making video essays being an extension of my hobbies as opposed to a pursuit of fame, I thought it would look like I had shallow reasons for doing it. And then that made it feel more embarassing because I was just starting to learn how to use software, I am still figuring out my style in the context of the youtube space etc. But then I told them, and I didn't receive the judgement or assumptions that I feared, I got people cheering me on who would listen to me discuss what I figured out about software, and empathised with me when my laptop froze and lost everything (literally happened today)
3)Watch the earliest videos available of youtubers you like. You're holding yourself to an impossible standard that your own favourite creatives likely don't meet. For some of them you won't even find older videos because they privated them all. You are allowed to learn in public. And if you don't like something it doesn't have to stay up forever. Just enough time for you to learn to engage with your creation of it with kindness instead of shame.
4)You are a person not an object to consume. Remember that. You are allowed to figure out what parts of yourself to share. You are allowed to fumble finding how to communicate what you want to your audiences. And you are allowed to lead a life that you may deem imperfect instead of one that people consume and aspire to. And you are allowed to have hopes about where you hope to end up. But you don't need to be aspirational, you need to be you.
5)Do NOT check the stats. And if you enjoy similar work to what you create you need a break if you find yourself looking at their stats. Despite my lack of interest in being an influencer, I was surprised to find how invested I got in numbers and what they might mean. I put in effort and so I was very distressed about if I was coming across "right" to audiences, if I was affable enough, interesting enough. Having my sisters follow me prevented me from trying to mimic what worked for other people because they know my interests and in the grand scheme of things because it wasn't a career path for me it was whatever and yet there I was looking at numbers. Who watched, from where, how old, what is the view duration etc. And that coupled with my discomfort about being visible was toxic. Until you can make videos, be happy with them and continue to be happy with them regardless of how "successful" they are do not ever open the stats. Do not look at what others are doing. Do anything but that.
Finally
6)Start small. You don't need the perfect posting schedule or the perfect weather, you need to build the muscle of being seen without it striking your heart with fear. Youtube was built off of people taping films on their tv and 144p videos they took of their day on their laptop. The audience that loves the raw, the real, the authentic hasn't gone anywhere. You just need to put yourself out there so that they can find you. Right now someone is lamenting that they cannot find anyone who speaks about being euro in the states and vlogs everyday things. It could be you, if only you will decide that what you want to share is more valuable than the impossible standards that you see.
Best of luck, everything you need is already within you <3
Feb 1, 2025
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I totally get where youâre coming from. It sounds like youâre in the perfect position to create something really meaningful! The vulnerability you feel about sharing your life is something many people can relate to, and your experience as a European in the US is unique. Remember, imperfection can actually make your content feel more authentic and real. You donât need the âperfectâ setup or life to startâjust film what you can with what you have. A small moment, like grocery shopping in the US or trying something new, can be super interesting to people. Plus, your story is your strength. The struggles, the cultural differences, even your doubtsâthose are the things that will resonate with others. Focus more on editing and storytelling, and the vibe you give off will make a bigger impact than any perfect shot. Think of it as a way to connect with others, not to be judged. The right audience will appreciate your honesty, and the rest wonât matter. Just take it one step at a time and enjoy the process! :) good luck! Iâll subscribe
Jan 14, 2025
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I'm of the mind that the fear of being corny or cringe will eventually lead to excessive uniformity and a general aversion to risk taking. Like "such and such is so cringe" so it's probably safer to do nothing instead.
This is impossible to say without mad clichés and platitudes but let me try to cook for a second.
I think that detaching yourself from the thoughts of others is very freeing. None of our decisions are made in a vacuum and weâre all going to be influenced by something, but redirecting your thought process back towards "what do EYE like/enjoy?â and away from "what do other people THINK about the things I like/enjoy?" has become a healthy reset for me.
Iâve also been thinking about the amount of art weâve probably lost out on because someone internalized or felt discouraged by a negative reaction to something that shares a similar vision or concept. I feel that dislike is a guarantee with everything. Itâs very easy to do and itâs bonding (I do it all the time) but it also helps me realize that there are always going to be things that someone hates and letting that stop you from doing things that bring you joy, will inevitably kill your spirit.
I canât imagine a world where Viola Davis didnât cry until she was covered in snot and out of breath, or where Jim Carrey didnât act with his entire body, or where Madonna never rolled around on stage in a wedding dress. A lot of those choices came from doing what other people at the time wouldnât do. Behaviors that people believed were worthy of contempt.
Thinking about how if Joni Mitchell didnât write Blue, Fiona might not have written When The Pawn, and SZA might not have written Ctrl, or what would happen if any of them fell into the belief that honesty and vulnerability were cringeworthy acts or something you should run from.
People respect a full SEND. If thereâs a question of whether or not you should send, choose a full send EVERYTIME. None of these people were praised for their vanity or willingness to be reserved, they were praised for the exact opposite.
Feb 28, 2024
Top Recs from @taterhole
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyâbe it a relative or one of my best friendsâwas to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too đ
Feb 23, 2025
May 28, 2025
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Iâve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapidâa critique often rooted in misogynyâbut now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments.
We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretationâpreconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume.
On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your imageâselfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that thereâs another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. Itâs refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics.
By sharing so few images of myself, Iâve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentionalâsomething that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance.
For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. Iâve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look.
In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? Itâs a question worth considering.
Dec 27, 2024