Not really a revolutionary sentiment; this is something people talk about a lot. But it leads to people living their lives as if theyāre on a stage in a literal sense where their homes become set dressing for the aspirational lifestyle they want to project with the purpose of creating monetized content thatās palatable to an audience and to advertisers. Tiktok seemed to democratize this landscape quite a bit to where people who didnāt fit the narrower expectations set on Instagram and YouTube were able to carve out niches for themselves, but these niches were still subject to specific visual languages, trends, and ārules.ā And now that itās almost certainly on deathās doorstep, it should be interesting to see how this evolves.
If you want to share your authentic life you should do it authenticallyāitās scary to bravely offer yourself up in such an unfiltered way but itās where you currently are and itās part of your story. You may not be happy with the way your house looks now but viewers might enjoy seeing your journey of becoming and the way the space you live in evolves with that! Sometimes you donāt have to feel ready or confident enough to do something; the confidence can come with practice and familiarity. The hardest part is showing up! š
Jan 14, 2025
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So I have a teeny tiny channel but it is one I am proud of and I had a similar issue as you are struggling with so I hope this helps:
1) Stop imagining what your hypothetical audience wants. I know if you have looked at advice online it seems counterintuitive because everyone tells you to fulfill a need etc. But something that I noticed when my channel got enough reach to sometimes get comments or reach 1k+ views is that there are many needs and desires in content that you haven't even thought of. I cannot tell you how many of the comments I get are glad to receive something that I made out of my own interest and assumed no one would ever watch.
2) Get someone you know to follow you. My sisters were amongst my first subscribers and when I first started my channel I considered not telling them because I was embarassed to be seen trying, and I thought that despite my interest in making video essays being an extension of my hobbies as opposed to a pursuit of fame, I thought it would look like I had shallow reasons for doing it. And then that made it feel more embarassing because I was just starting to learn how to use software, I am still figuring out my style in the context of the youtube space etc. But then I told them, and I didn't receive the judgement or assumptions that I feared, I got people cheering me on who would listen to me discuss what I figured out about software, and empathised with me when my laptop froze and lost everything (literally happened today)
3)Watch the earliest videos available of youtubers you like. You're holding yourself to an impossible standard that your own favourite creatives likely don't meet. For some of them you won't even find older videos because they privated them all. You are allowed to learn in public. And if you don't like something it doesn't have to stay up forever. Just enough time for you to learn to engage with your creation of it with kindness instead of shame.
4)You are a person not an object to consume. Remember that. You are allowed to figure out what parts of yourself to share. You are allowed to fumble finding how to communicate what you want to your audiences. And you are allowed to lead a life that you may deem imperfect instead of one that people consume and aspire to. And you are allowed to have hopes about where you hope to end up. But you don't need to be aspirational, you need to be you.
5)Do NOT check the stats. And if you enjoy similar work to what you create you need a break if you find yourself looking at their stats. Despite my lack of interest in being an influencer, I was surprised to find how invested I got in numbers and what they might mean. I put in effort and so I was very distressed about if I was coming across "right" to audiences, if I was affable enough, interesting enough. Having my sisters follow me prevented me from trying to mimic what worked for other people because they know my interests and in the grand scheme of things because it wasn't a career path for me it was whatever and yet there I was looking at numbers. Who watched, from where, how old, what is the view duration etc. And that coupled with my discomfort about being visible was toxic. Until you can make videos, be happy with them and continue to be happy with them regardless of how "successful" they are do not ever open the stats. Do not look at what others are doing. Do anything but that.
Finally
6)Start small. You don't need the perfect posting schedule or the perfect weather, you need to build the muscle of being seen without it striking your heart with fear. Youtube was built off of people taping films on their tv and 144p videos they took of their day on their laptop. The audience that loves the raw, the real, the authentic hasn't gone anywhere. You just need to put yourself out there so that they can find you. Right now someone is lamenting that they cannot find anyone who speaks about being euro in the states and vlogs everyday things. It could be you, if only you will decide that what you want to share is more valuable than the impossible standards that you see.
Best of luck, everything you need is already within you <3
Feb 1, 2025
ā„ļø
I totally get where youāre coming from. It sounds like youāre in the perfect position to create something really meaningful! The vulnerability you feel about sharing your life is something many people can relate to, and your experience as a European in the US is unique. Remember, imperfection can actually make your content feel more authentic and real. You donāt need the āperfectā setup or life to startājust film what you can with what you have. A small moment, like grocery shopping in the US or trying something new, can be super interesting to people. Plus, your story is your strength. The struggles, the cultural differences, even your doubtsāthose are the things that will resonate with others. Focus more on editing and storytelling, and the vibe you give off will make a bigger impact than any perfect shot. Think of it as a way to connect with others, not to be judged. The right audience will appreciate your honesty, and the rest wonāt matter. Just take it one step at a time and enjoy the process! :) good luck! Iāll subscribe
Jan 14, 2025
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I'm of the mind that the fear of being corny or cringe will eventually lead to excessive uniformity and a general aversion to risk taking. Like "such and such is so cringe" so it's probably safer to do nothing instead.
This is impossible to say without mad clichƩs and platitudes but let me try to cook for a second.
I think that detaching yourself from the thoughts of others is very freeing. None of our decisions are made in a vacuum and weāre all going to be influenced by something, but redirecting your thought process back towards "what do EYE like/enjoy?ā and away from "what do other people THINK about the things I like/enjoy?" has become a healthy reset for me.
Iāve also been thinking about the amount of art weāve probably lost out on because someone internalized or felt discouraged by a negative reaction to something that shares a similar vision or concept. I feel that dislike is a guarantee with everything. Itās very easy to do and itās bonding (I do it all the time) but it also helps me realize that there are always going to be things that someone hates and letting that stop you from doing things that bring you joy, will inevitably kill your spirit.
I canāt imagine a world where Viola Davis didnāt cry until she was covered in snot and out of breath, or where Jim Carrey didnāt act with his entire body, or where Madonna never rolled around on stage in a wedding dress. A lot of those choices came from doing what other people at the time wouldnāt do. Behaviors that people believed were worthy of contempt.
Thinking about how if Joni Mitchell didnāt write Blue, Fiona might not have written When The Pawn, and SZA might not have written Ctrl, or what would happen if any of them fell into the belief that honesty and vulnerability were cringeworthy acts or something you should run from.
People respect a full SEND. If thereās a question of whether or not you should send, choose a full send EVERYTIME. None of these people were praised for their vanity or willingness to be reserved, they were praised for the exact opposite.
Feb 28, 2024
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āLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā
ā AnaĆÆs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that Iāve safely landed at the start of my new life. Itās honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think itās important to share.
Iāve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, weād have been together for 11 years, and weāve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with peopleāto rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. Heās been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. Iāve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
Iāve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitelyābut someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and itās going to be tough for a while but Iām going to be better than okay!
Now Iām opening up to you. This isnāt the only abuse Iāve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolationāand breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me š
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyābe it a relative or one of my best friendsāwas to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too š
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ā
š
Feb 27, 2025