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i got curious, changed my mindset, and worked hard

To be upfront, there are two things about myself that I love: 1. I'm tenacious AF 2. I am generally a positive person. I can handle almost any situtation, and I've had to learn to actually ask/demand more, so it's not always great. With that being said, I've wanted to die many times. I've experienced a lot of trauma. I have PTSD for years. Things got to a point where I knew if I didn't make really drastic changes I was going to die in some way- I simply could not go on how I was. The only thing that started to change things is when I started to learn more about myself and my reasons for doing things, being with certain people, getting into certain relationships. Part of my whole issue was that I had major trauma from childhood that I was actively avoiding. So many things happen to us as children, big and small, that we don't have the capacticy to deal with at the time. But as adults, we do. I remember the moment where things started shifting for me. It unlocked a hunger in me to dig more and more to why I was the way I was, and why I made the choices I did, in a really deep way. I became more action oriented in facing my shit, healing it, and discovering what I was like without it. It definitely wasn't easy, and it wasn't fun most of the time, but in reality the years I spent doing that are small compared to the life I have ahead of me. I'm a whole new person, but the parts of me that are true are the same. I became a more mature, loving, responsible version of myself. Hating your life is a sign something is not working. If you're unsure what that is, go inward. If you don't know where to start, think about the very next step. That's all you need to do. You're never locked in where you're at now forever. Don't know what you want to do for a career? Switch gears and do a completely different job. There is no timeline. You can literally do whatever you want. When I was doing a lot of the stressful inner work, I worked at animal shelters because I needed something so low stress. And I was mid 20's!!! No career goals in sight!!! Not even anywhere in my brain!!! If you're straight up hating something that is taking up most of your time... just quit it. Life is too short. Success to me is ease and grace. I want a peaceful, joyful life (most of the time). Sometimes to figure out what you need to do, you gotta take a giant step back. Or a step to the left. Or take a big roundabout. Or maybe a quest needs to be taken...

@mossyelfie

Dec 4, 2024

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Reframing quitting as successful completion

I’m tired of jumping through hoops and reframing my mounting dread everyday as ‘an opportunity to make a change‘. I’m tired of thinking that only if I tried harder, or was better or did something different that I would have a better outcome. At what point do you stop trying to jam the same puzzle piece in the same spot and say, “Hmm maybe this doesn’t fit!” Am I quitting trying to be an ever optimizing and improving version of myself? Maybe. OR have I successfully gotten what I wanted out of this experience and can peacefully move on without remorse? I think in 2025 I’m going to start choosing the latter.

@kkolbrich

Dec 18, 2024

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releasing fear, gaining energy

So much of what I'm proud of has been inner work that isn't always noticeable on the outside. Recently I've been given a beautiful opportunity that brought up a lot of fear in me, which I've been through enough to realize that it was based on past hurt or taking on other people's opinions as a kind of judgemental character in my head. I'm so grateful to have the support of people in my life that helped me talk through what was going on. My husband, one of the best people in the whole world imho, shared with me that developing Self (the true, unique you) is recognizing when fear is just fear, and doing it despite that. Each time we are able to do that, our true self gets stronger and stronger. Since I worked through that I've had so much more energy in my day to day life. It's like I slowly was becoming buried without even realizing it. I've learned that the goal in growing isn't necessarily to change, but rather to become more and more our true selves. It's a constant process. Barnacles attach, and we work to notice and remove them so we can swim smoothly.

@mossyelfie

May 27, 2025

Top Recs from @mossyelfie

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WATER LILY COVERED LAKES

LET ME IN!!!!

@mossyelfie

4d ago

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DANCING YOURSELF CLEAN

Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE 🌊

@mossyelfie

Apr 24, 2025

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Embracing The Fool Archetype

In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle. These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once. The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next. We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom. The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust.  The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back.  This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out.  The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy.  I’ve found that as healing goes on, just as it’s shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being. We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time.   The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow. There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of “this is what is, how can I make this work well for me?” Everything works out for The Fool because they don’t know it can’t. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow.  I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more.  The Fool doesn’t stop to worry what other people will think!  The Fool does not fret about what if’s!  The Fool is in the moment!

@mossyelfie

3d ago