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I wasted a lot of time overfour years in college because I wasnāt there for any particular reason. So step one in preparing for college is to want to go to college.
Another thing is to know āyouāll find your peopleā isnt quite right. You can find your people but you have to look for them! Try lots of things and meet lots of people.
Balancing your people and your studies comes down to discipline. I donāt think thereāsa universal answer to that. If youāre in a nerdy major at a nerdy school, itāll be easier than if youāre taking sociology at Arizona State or whatever a big party school is nowadays.
I think failing is a valuable part of college. Whether thatās literally getting an F or just not getting the grade you want or the person you want, etc. Just like itās a great place to meet people, itās a pretty safe place to make mistakes as you figure things out. Especially because youāre surrounded by other people doing the sane thing! No one knows how theyāll do at college, you just figure it out.
I recommend watching the Psychology ofWell Being before you go. Itās free on Coursera and is a popular course from Yale that teaches important things about what does and doesnāt make us happy, and how our minds trick us into emphasizing the wrong things. Itās really good!
Another thing is to know āyouāll find your peopleā isnt quite right. You can find your people but you have to look for them! Try lots of things and meet lots of people.
Balancing your people and your studies comes down to discipline. I donāt think thereāsa universal answer to that. If youāre in a nerdy major at a nerdy school, itāll be easier than if youāre taking sociology at Arizona State or whatever a big party school is nowadays.
I think failing is a valuable part of college. Whether thatās literally getting an F or just not getting the grade you want or the person you want, etc. Just like itās a great place to meet people, itās a pretty safe place to make mistakes as you figure things out. Especially because youāre surrounded by other people doing the sane thing! No one knows how theyāll do at college, you just figure it out.
I recommend watching the Psychology ofWell Being before you go. Itās free on Coursera and is a popular course from Yale that teaches important things about what does and doesnāt make us happy, and how our minds trick us into emphasizing the wrong things. Itās really good!
Jan 11, 2025
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šCollege (and especially first year) is one of the rare times in your life where it is so easy to meet all sorts of different types of people. Everyone is young and outgoing and you all have this shared āthingā that you got accepted to this institution and most importantly youāre all geographically concentrated in this one place (the campus) in multiple settings and environments (class, library, dorms, activities, parties, etc). You also havenāt been hardened by life (everyone gets busier, a little more risk averse, a little more guarded as they age - the game is just protecting as much of your youthful self as possible while still maturing and growing in all the best ways as you age but thatās for another post).
Studying is important (especially if you want to at least **keep the door open** on going to some form of grad school because NO ONE PLANS ON GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL IN FIRST YEAR) but do not forget to make the most of EVERYTHING campus life has to offer - itās like a buffet try the lobster tail and if you donāt like you donāt have to finish it get another plate. Life and memories happen in the most mundane moments: the stuff I remember and get misty eyed is such a random collection of experiences you couldnāt design it if you tried itās just the cumulus of doing a whole bunch of random stuff - some of it is sort of crazy stuff and some of it is as simple as getting a coffee with someone or throwing a charity car wash or polar bear dip or staying up late and ordering pizza studying for a midterm with friends.
Lastly be generous and be a honest, good person. The campus is a surprisingly small place, and reputations are quickly made or unmade (if youāre on here youāre probably a very awesome person but itās always worth saying). Kindness goes a long way and you have no idea which of your acquaintances will go on to become lifelong friends. The people I stayed in touch with 15 years later are NOT who I expected!!
Studying is important (especially if you want to at least **keep the door open** on going to some form of grad school because NO ONE PLANS ON GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL IN FIRST YEAR) but do not forget to make the most of EVERYTHING campus life has to offer - itās like a buffet try the lobster tail and if you donāt like you donāt have to finish it get another plate. Life and memories happen in the most mundane moments: the stuff I remember and get misty eyed is such a random collection of experiences you couldnāt design it if you tried itās just the cumulus of doing a whole bunch of random stuff - some of it is sort of crazy stuff and some of it is as simple as getting a coffee with someone or throwing a charity car wash or polar bear dip or staying up late and ordering pizza studying for a midterm with friends.
Lastly be generous and be a honest, good person. The campus is a surprisingly small place, and reputations are quickly made or unmade (if youāre on here youāre probably a very awesome person but itās always worth saying). Kindness goes a long way and you have no idea which of your acquaintances will go on to become lifelong friends. The people I stayed in touch with 15 years later are NOT who I expected!!
Rec
šŖ“i had a similar mindset to you coming into college where i wanted to achieve a lot. it's important to have that ambition earlier on, as it can propel you to improve yourself.
at the same time, don't get disheartened if things don't work out the first time around. i had a lot of issues in my first two years chasing after this idea of "lifelong college friends", and it's only after i stopped chasing and focused on myself that i was able to build some stronger friendships. engage with your hobbies and the things you like to do - people with similar interests can be found there.
be flexible and open - have a list of priorities for the day, and engage in "productive procrastinating" where you procrastinate on something by doing an unrelated productive thing (like taking a break from an essay and cleaning up my room). i split my time between career prep, clubs, and other engagements using this tactic.
it's a time of a lot of change, but you got this. good luck :)
at the same time, don't get disheartened if things don't work out the first time around. i had a lot of issues in my first two years chasing after this idea of "lifelong college friends", and it's only after i stopped chasing and focused on myself that i was able to build some stronger friendships. engage with your hobbies and the things you like to do - people with similar interests can be found there.
be flexible and open - have a list of priorities for the day, and engage in "productive procrastinating" where you procrastinate on something by doing an unrelated productive thing (like taking a break from an essay and cleaning up my room). i split my time between career prep, clubs, and other engagements using this tactic.
it's a time of a lot of change, but you got this. good luck :)
Rec
š... and that's a good thing. You can really focus on experimenting with being the person you want to be. You'll also need to unlearn what you think other people think of you, since that's probably no longer accurate. Always say yes to meeting new people, doing things you've never done before. Take classes about weird stuff you don't know about that sound interesting. Explore!
One of my few college regrets is not taking ballroom dancing when all my friends were because I was feeling too shy. In hindsight it was over nothing. Go do the thing.
One of my few college regrets is not taking ballroom dancing when all my friends were because I was feeling too shy. In hindsight it was over nothing. Go do the thing.
Jul 5, 2025
Top Recs from @bee1000
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Iām not sure why, I guess things ending are sad. Hereās a self portrait I made in charcoal. The proportions are wonky but it kinda looks like me!
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The occupation persists, the oppression persists, the torture persists.
The occupiers are psychotic and their work is never finished. People whoāve paid attention wonāt be surprised by this photo from Gaza.
The occupiers are psychotic and their work is never finished. People whoāve paid attention wonāt be surprised by this photo from Gaza.
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š¤ŖIām 50, I say because that makes me unusual in this context. I paid [redacted] for a ticket to the Eras Tour after listening to tswift for 3 weeks, and it was worth it. In second grade my teacher gave kids birthday spankings over her knee, and in sixth grade my teacher told my mom I hadnāt blossomed yet. Iām a good friend, mostly to people on the internet. Iām good at conversing with strangers. Iām usually the oldest person at the show but donāt feel like it. Iām good at being helpful. Iām sarcastic and funny and make myself laugh. Iām a good graphic designer and a conscientious driver. Iām a good photographer and I can successfully follow recipes. I donāt use my Peloton enough. I did a lot of caregiving for my mom for several years, and we enjoyed spending time together even if it was mostly in waiting rooms and my car. The fastest I ever ran a mile was eight minutes and six seconds. I drove the same car for 20 years and then replaced it with another one. I enjoy tipping, giving money to people on the street and Disneyland. I am a fan of baseball, Formula 1 racing and the Criterion Channel. I solve about 80% of New York Times crosswords. I take Prozac and Wellbutrin, and take Trazodone to sleep through the night. I wish I had a glassed in solarium so I could sleep in it on rainy nights. I would like to have a pet cat and a garage. I could happily live eating only cereal and fruit. I overshare on the internet and undershare elsewhere. āļøš