Thereās an indescribable beauty to this song, āAlisonā, by Slowdive. Oh, how I wish I could put into words how this song makes me feel. When I first stumbled upon it, and the wholeĀ SouvlakiĀ album it belongs to, I was quite lonely. I had friends, but most of my friends had someone in their lives. Someone who was more important to them than me. I was nobodyās priority. Thatās how it felt, at least. I was longing to be loved. To be cared for. And that is exactly what Neil Halsteadās vocals on this song bring forth, a feeling of longing, of desperation. He longs for someone so desperately, that heāll do anything as long as he gets to be with her. He will do whatever it takes so as not to be alone anymore.Ā
āAlison, Iāll drink your wine /
Iāll wear your clothes when weāre both highā
Sheās like an addiction, and he is addicted to her and anything sheāll ask of him. At the time, I would have given anything to overcome the loneliness that overwhelmed my everyday life. A girl could give me the smallest amount of attention, and I would spiral into a rabbit hole of highly unlikely fantasies. Even if I knew they werenāt at all right for me, I made up scenarios in my mind of what it would be like to be with them. For a moment, I would actually feel less lonely.
āāAlisonā, I said, āWeāre sinkingā /
Thereās nothing here but thatās okayā
As a soaring guitar fades in and the chorus takes off, I daydream about what could, but probably never will be, and never should. Iām not ready. I have to wait. She has to be somewhere. Softly, carefully, I can already hear her, through Rachel Goswellās gorgeous echoing vocals, somewhere in space. I just have to wait.
āI guess sheās out there somewhereā¦ā
She was.