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This is (I think?) a form of meditation, but it's what I use to calm my mind, especially when I've woken up in the night and need to get back to sleep. I learned it from my favorite dance teacher who starts every class with this exercise. What you do is just tell yourself things, in sentence form, that are true about wherever you are right now. Majority of them should be sensory things. Like, "I feel my sweat pants on my leg." "I feel the heater blowing my hair." "I hear a car passing outside." "I see a gray sky." "I taste the apple pie I had for dessert." Just statements about what is true right now -- and this is the important part: WITHOUT COMMENTARY. Of course, because you have a human brain and this is what it is hard-wired to do, your will start supplying commentary anyway. So when that happens you just notice it, and absolutely don't judge it or anything, it's just another "fact of the moment" -- "that was commentary." You acknowledge the commentary and then go back to stating other (non-commentary) facts until the next bout of commentary, which you then acknowledge and move on from -- or until you fall asleep, which happens shockingly fast for me once I notice and move on from my first bout of commentary. Eventually you might feel like you've run out of facts so you can start saying the sentences over to yourself, with more space in them to take up more time, and somewhere in there, a sense of peace develops? A place where, just for a moment, thoughts get lulled into taking a break? I find that as soon as I notice that I'm in that peace, huge thoughts come FLOODING IN, and then I have to calmly and gently be like, "this is commentary. back to the facts." It's refreshing and it takes a very passive form of discipline, like, you should be as relaxed as possible -- lying on the floor or on a couch, not holding a single part of your body up, maybe eyes closed, total release, but not *total* because the thoughts do need to be guided -- not controlled, not judged, not even stopped. Just guided, like re-routing a little rivulet of water that's rolling down a hill.
Feb 11, 2024
I was just in NY and I fucking love it, haven’t been feeling great so decided to get out of the bay and change out my environment for a sec
i love the ny subway so much, Mark Gonzales always talked about how he would see so many different walks of life and it in a sense was calming… I think he contributes to how I can stay so chill in such a hectic place as the subways or transit lines in sf and ny
I think I try to practice being grounded in a place of chaos and centering my energy back toward myself almost all the time, it feels like a form of meditation… this book I read called modern mindfulness talks about that, it could explain why I enjoy doing things by myself too
i remember in midsommar when Florence witnessed one of the ceremonies and was still while everyone else was freaking out (but obv not as drastic), I want to reach that level of tranquility fr
most of my white noise in my records come from places like this too
Feb 14, 2024
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I don’t want to float through my days distracted by routine. So, I am trying to look at meditation (focusing on the feeling of my hands running through water when I wash them and recognizing that even this is a privilege - or saying hello to my neighbors on the stairwell even when I’m running late) as a more abstract form of resistance. So when Aaron Bushnell sacrifices his life in form of protest against genocide, I have the capacity to pause and actually feel & understand the weight of it. It seems like it should be easy to do, but it’s a lot easier to doom scroll, or get tied up in work, and the world needs our attention. So I am trying to be better.
Feb 27, 2024
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Jan 1, 2025