Rec
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Dec 7, 2024
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i do think it’s okay to judge men because — it’s a spectrum but we live in a patriarchal society and sadly a LOT of men don’t actually respect women; i think partly due to a plague of highly misogynistic media right now, particularly incel-adjacent content via youtube and social media which i think is different than the media misogyny we had before the mid-2010s. and this is combined with str8/bi women having higher standards, which is also causing reactionary mindsets in some. this is all showing up in recent polling/data but i’m sure anecdotally many of us have witnessed this (though, note, this is likely US-centric bc i live here but i know some of these things do extend to other countries).
that all being said, a few of my best friends are men (cis+trans) and of course sometimes they mess up but they are great guys which i believe is because they have done a lot of thinking about misogyny and their relationship to it and none of them are obsessed with achieving a certain form of masculinity. a lot of men haven’t done this thinking though, because most people in general aren’t encouraging men to do so - even plenty of women! overall, i think it’s both/and - yes, a lot of men are absorbed in toxic mindsets and there are men who actively reflect on their relationship with misogyny (and are sure to call others out on it too). and because of that, i think it’s valid to stick to your expectations of men, and possibly a lot of men may not fit those standards which is certainly not your fault !
Dec 7, 2024
I think this is a healthy and normal reaction lol 🫶 I just try to evaluate them on an individual basis and accept that they are very different than I am/also focus on what we have in common…
Dec 7, 2024
