chances are, from my experience at least, if you wrote an essay on the same topic as everyone else, it’d largely be about the same things/arguments as other students just with your personal spin on it, which is great, but not always exciting. The fact that your brain went in a completely different direction is admirable in its own right. Anyone who thinks differently by nature is 10X more intriguing, intelligent, and valuable in my eyes. I’d prefer to read the one essay that wasn’t following the guidelines because at least it’s something new!
One way I really relate to this as well: back in high school I had a great art teacher who assigned us with an abstract painting assignment once . Yet, somehow, I managed to create the most realistic painting with figures and clear depictions of people and objects while everyone else’s works looked like Kandinsky was amongst us… I had no intention of doing that but I did, and she couldn’t believe it. She even kept that artwork for future classes to show students what NOT to do for that assignment as well as others because it wasnt the only time I unintentionally strayed away from the project plan . with that said however, I was one of her favorite students for that very reason, because I cared about the work, but wasnt worried about breaking the rules and letting my heart and inclinations guide me towards what I felt I needed to do or was interested in making. And I found at that time, that people will always respect that, so maybe you’re onto something here 🤞🏿
Nov 21, 2024
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the thing about essays that really frustrated me when i was in k-12 was that they were boring, hard, and no matter what i did there was always some feedback about how my ideas "weren't quite there" or were underdeveloped or how some of them were off-topic to the main point of the essay, etc. etc. etc. – when i got older i realized that the point of essay-writing is that it assesses critical thinking, something i was actively developing at the age i was being assigned those essays, which can't be taught directly and instead needs to be fostered; then, that critical thinking needed to be applied in a very specific way to a kind of writing that was really (maybe overly) structured, and that i was being assessed on both the ideas being presented and the writing communicating those ideas. the way i got over this (definitely over years and years, not all at once) was realizing that the point of an essay (and the kind of unspoken process of thinking critically) was:
1. deciding / finding what i actually think – usually starting with a question about the subject, and then trying to answer it myself (which meant picking a sufficiently interesting question)
2. proving / demonstrating what i actually think – this is the breaking down; what can i extract from a source that agrees or disagrees with my thoughts, what are some secondary sources that can further elaborate on or contextualize my thoughts, and laying all those pieces out
3. putting those pieces in order on the page so that the person reading them can follow the train of thought and (hopefully) arrive at the same conclusion – this is the putting back together
it can feel like other folks know what they're going for but really it's either knowing the audience (i.e. [teacher / reader] is probably looking for this kind of question or this kind of answer) and then applying that process, or they're just really in touch with their creative and critical faculties such that they can identify an interesting question and a thoughtful answer
that stuff comes with time (or at least it did for me) because critical thinking is an innate human quality; everyone has at one point or another asked a non-empirical question and arrived at their own conclusion to that question, but learning how to structure that thinking and write well enough to effectively express that perspective for a teacher, academic journal, etc. is something that requires you to practice at it and experience more life and have more thoughts that can feed into that process. and the fostering piece is so important because i feel like that requires extra care and investment on the part of the person educating you who at best is wildly under-resourced to do so and at worst has decided that's just not a part of their job description and therefore something they won't touch with a ten-foot pole
all this to say i do relate, i think that doesn't feel like it's the case for me anymore necessarily and i'm sure at some point it won't for you – and even if essays never end up being your bag, there are so many other forms and mediums to communicate complex ideas that can often be much more resonant and beautiful for people, essays are not the end-all-be-all way to communicate big thoughts
Feb 12, 2025
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I don't think being competitive helps much with writing. This isn't the NBA finals where the "best" is reflected on the scoreboard. It's more subjective than that. My best version of writing may be different from your best, and both are valid.
That said, you can want your writing to be the best it possibly can, and you can draw inspo from people around you – including other writers or other artists. Right now I'm really inspired by BRAT and how Charli depicts girlhood. It has me thinking if I could do something with boyhood, what that would look like, could it feel as honest and urgent, etc. But I don't see myself as competing with that album. That's a waste of my mental resources.
You mentioned a lot of the same ideas are floating around out there. Sure. But can you express them in a way that's specific to you? In a way that feels fresh? Can you take a tired emotion like love and make it feel brand new? That's the challenge. That's what makes it interesting.
Just try to make the best possible version of what you want to make, don't worry too much about "the competition" because that's a great way to make yourself miserable. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Jun 23, 2024
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every time I start any creative venture that actually finishes/gets to a place I’m happy with, it’s after chipping away every excess part of it in my mind 100 times over and can’t help but make the final idea into reality. creating for the sake of creating will lead you nowhere but a blank page.
(Side point: making something out of your heart and soul is easier than from your head. good ideas dont exist, only authentic and inauthentic ones. make only what’s real to you.)
May 16, 2025
Top Recs from @_bilal_
One of my short stories from a collection I recently wrote just got accepted to a really cool journal at Illinois State University!
First time seeing that green “Accepted” label on Submittable :)
I’m ecstatic 😁😁 linked the story to this recc if anyone wants to read it before it comes out!!
Apr 24, 2025
Been off this app lately cuz ive been busy opening an art gallery in my hometown (San Diego) called Deixis Gallery! Been such a wonderful experience so far. It’s so beautiful to see how community comes together to help with every step along the way. Friends came by and helped paint, do construction, a friend of mine built us some benches from scratch, and a bunch of amazing artists participated in the inaugural exhibition. So hyped, truly recommend. And shout out to allstnyc for the encouragement back when I first posted an ask about opening a gallery! 🤞🏿🤞🏿🤞🏿also if you find yourself in San Diego, make sure to stop by! @deixisgallery
Jan 6, 2025
Spent a month in a cabin in a rural town in Washington state and fell in love. Spent my days gardening, writing, cooking, working out with logs and trees, just living the most simple life. Being back in a city makes me sick to my stomach now and capitalistic 🤮. It sucks.
Nov 14, 2024