ok so I really empathise with you because I work somewhere where a lot of my colleagues have terrible politics and arenāt shy about it.
Hereās what I did:
Figure out 3-4 things this person likes that arenāt political. So, for example, Iāll often ask people about their kids; what meals they enjoy cooking; what they did on their weekend; and what wildlife they saw (specific but there are tons of animals near where I work).
If they get political in spite of your attempts to steer the conversation in a different direction just gently redirect them. Even the most redpilled person can usually take the hint at this point.
obviously there are caveats; I find a lot of redpilled people usually engage with that stuff superficially and are not too bad as long as you have good boundaries. But if the guy is an actual fascist you might want to take your business elsewhere.
Oct 23, 2024
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to set the stage here I organized as a college student/adjacent to a political cult (was never 100% brainwashed and pulled in) so this answer is going to diverge from many other answers. Iāll say in my opinion that trying to divide or merge person and politic is a zero sum game or detrimental for my personal life and political consequences at large
I donāt allow myself to get into situations where this would be remotely possible and that either comes off as extremely myopic or cushioned from reality but Iām choosing to accept that. In my friendships or making new friends I try to be a remotely ok judge of character to determine if political beliefs will inflame the friendship
no amount of brain power would make me consider changing someoneās mind on politics in a friendship but its likely im on the same page of people who are moderate or political disengaged to discuss freely about it
Hannah Arendt once observed that the personal and political spheres merging creates this space where we can no longer āactā in politics but we behave as economic actors or consumers. I think sheās on the money about this to this day - politics on the whole are very much boiled down to a market choice for me and not visible in my personal life much
Jul 14, 2024
lots of other thoughtful responses here but simply put, no. if someone supports a harmful political figure, they likely believe that figureās beliefs or they at least donāt care enough about each impact of that politicianās whole platform. we canāt only think about how things impact ourselves; being kind to others is the bare minimum.
and there is nuance, like if someone believes we canāt abolish the police but thinks the current system is bad, so they support a politician who increases social services (that prevent crime), thatās different from someone who supports a politician that justifies police violence. the latter is highly, highly ignorant; but the former acknowledges social issues, which indicates space for further dialogue and growth
from an organizing perspective, i do believe in educating and calling in etc but those are learned skills and also a totally different thing from friendship and dating. you probably canāt just āfixā the views of friends or partners, and should not just leave that as a caveat of your relationship nor put up with their beliefs because you think you might be able to educate them.
article linked is specifically about dating but itās a good, brief essay
Jul 14, 2024
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I love talking about politics with my friends! I will say that my friend group is full of likeminded people. If there is a disagreement within the group I feel that because we have a similar mindset we are able to see where the other is coming from even if we donāt agree(?) if that makes sense. Ofc identity politics plays a big role which might create an idea of community or make others feel left out.
I think where we are in society today politics cant be avoided. Politics and policy is everywhere that even a simple conversation can be tied to so many aspects of it. I think discussing it with friends, people you trust and know have similar perspectives or ideas allows for a safe conversation (at least in my case).
Jan 24, 2025
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Nov 16, 2024
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Iām on the wrong side of 33 and i can tell you with utmost certainty that your 20s is the most chaotic time of your life and itās amazing that anyone actually gets anything done during them. If youāre a type a planning type personality however I would recommend:
- if youāre the sort of person who cares about diet and fitness, establish those routines in your 20s
- live where you wanna live. Donāt live somewhere you hate because you think youāll have more fun later cos you wonāt
- get a job that makes reliable money that you can tolerate and go back to if your dreams fall through. It doesnāt have to be a dream job it just has to pay the rent and not make you sad
- don't smoke cigarettes
- use sunscreen
- be as cringe as you want. People expect it from you anyway. They wonāt have as much patience in your 30s.
Nov 25, 2024
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Walking into a formal celebration and taking in everyone looking and smelling good. The smell always stays with me the mostācologne, soap, hair product, cigarettes, leather, shoe polish. Everyone so clean and proud and a little bit shy. So special.
Dec 7, 2024