lots of good advice here so iām just gonna add that for me itās a lot of talking to people i trust - ideally older than me that i see as a mentor/guide or someone i look up to has always been helpful. also considering the actions of people i admire. and finally focusing on my ānorth starā which is a metaphor i learned last year - what it is youāre centering / pursuing / valuing most and then assess the potential choices in relationship to it. also sitting in nature and journaling about the choices helps me think through it better.p
Oct 22, 2024
Related Recs
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Ask for advice.
One benefit of asking for adviceāespecially from people whose lives and choices you respectāis that you get to observe the situation or decision from totally different perspectives and different sets of values.
You aren't asking them to make the decision for you, nor would you want that. It needs to be yours entirely. But more wise voices (within reasonable limits) may help you see with more clarity and rise above your biases.
Consider asking for advice from people you respect but who you think may tell you what you don't want to hear. No need to be afraid of that. The choice is still yours.
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Also, I pay attention to my inner life: where are my emotions at as I imagine the different choices? Is there a particular lack of peace or anxiety with one or the other? That's good information.
Oct 22, 2024
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I contemplate these questions often, I feel like one conclusion I have come to is learning to trust myself first. Obviously sometimes that means you could be wrong, but when you listen to yourself - in your heart & in your gut - it has the answers more often than not. Sometimes that takes going through new experiences and learning new things about yourself. Allowing it to look like whatever it needs to look like. Some say utilizing stillness will help, but for others it may be chaos that helps to gather the insight and wisdom you seek.
Apr 6, 2024
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Write it out, like youāre doing here! everyone has already said youāre super young so find hope and peace in that whenever youāre panicking about what you should be doing. Donāt worry too much about love, thatās going to come at its own time. your career will take shape over time and you always have chances to change it.
How do I feel grounded (context, iām 30, feeling decently settled). I constantly make lists of what I need to do or want to do (these are separate!). Today I need to do xyz at work, I need to make plans for this weekend, I need to buy new cat food, I want to work out twice, I want to cook something with zucchini, I want to listen to a new podcast episode
Some other things: I always try to have an artistic outlet. I ask questions about things I donāt know (this is everywhere, work, at the cafe, in yoga class, I Google if Iām curious). I go to therapy and when I make goals I only think of my own happiness.
Jan 22, 2025
Top Recs from @marxinista
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being traditionally cool is really quite boring and iterative, and itās actually very cool and sexy to geek out about something you like or share bits of knowledge on a topic youāre passionate about
Aug 17, 2024
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i had it for a little over a year until i was like wow this is actually terrible! i genuinely think it has negatively impacted society by ruining peopleās attention spans, having a horrific algorithm, and most of all by the most mind-numbing or outright harmful trends -
fake words that people now use IRL (āunaliveā), trad wife tiktok, shein hauls, body-focused fitness vids that encourage fatphobia and unhealthy habits, shallow political/feminist theory and queer discourse, āalpha maleā podcaster tiktok, encouraging overconsumption in general, trends ruining local spots or niche thingsā¦ the list goes on
Aug 17, 2024
a million times cooler than the lackluster āsleekā tech color palette used today
Feb 22, 2025