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yeah

got my a.a., was gonna go to my state school and finish up my bachelor's and then covid happened. at the time i had sort of promising prospects as a freelancer and covid college was making me want to die, so i quit and just leaned in to the independent work that i was already doing. those prospects quickly evaporated, so initially this seemed like a pretty tremendous mistake. i became a self-taught software developer just in time for the age of "self-taught software developer gets $70k job" to end, and i became a semi-professional writer just in time for almost every reputable publication in the universe to spontaneously combust and for the few that remain to start paying, like, $0.00000000001 cents a word. i beat myself up about it for a while five years later, it seems like i actually did end up making the right choice in the long run. not only am i able to feed myself (finally) but also because i ended up building the rudiments of a career in a cave from a box of scraps i found myself with a tremendous amount of creative freedom. i felt like i was wasting my life because i wasn't achieving the "standard" life accomplishments that my peers were, but i realize now that i was frontloading a lot of the bullshit that most other people spread out evenly throughout their lives. it's only just now (last ~18 months) that i've started to see the dividends of all the grinding that i've been doing, and it's all coming all at once. as for if i have any insight for your situation, it's hard to say. i've the sort of freak who has always had a very clear idea for the lifestyle i want and the discrete things i want to accomplish in the world before i am dead - my problem always has been figuring out the path to get there. i gather for most people it's the opposite problem - they know what path they're "supposed" to take but don't really know what they want to do when they get to the end. what do you want *your* life to look like?

@dotmatrices

2d ago

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making decisions

a recent discovery of mine is that only so often will you be punished for making the wrong life decisions there are times where i get completely hung up on two decisions that both seem like good decisions, but despite this abundance of awesome decisions the only thing i get out is misery in being unable to choose ... i think that part of maturing is realising the easiest way to make yourself happy in this situation is to just choose one and remind yourself that, even if the other decision ends up better, firstly you're not even gonna know (lol) and secondly you can't underestimate your willpower to make the most out of the hand you've been dealt. i'm not saying ability deliberately - i'm saying willpower - but at the end of the day having that will is more important than whether or not you can pull it off in the new and mysterious situation you may find yourself in. this way you open yourself up to actually making these decisions and #ReapingTheJoy because you can't do so the longer you worry!

@shakycacti

May 5, 2025

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Day dreaming about what your life could‘ve been like if you had made a different decision

I love my life, so this isn’t in an escapism sort of way. I more so can feel what my life would’ve been like in different scenarios. I can sense what it would’ve been like if I went to vet school in Vermont, or if I had actually left my abusive ex that chilly night in October, or if I had gone to art school in DC, or moved to Portland instead of staying in Chicago and going to therapy. I like to think that all of those versions are happening in different timelines 🧬

@mossyelfie

Sep 16, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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SURFING THE TIDES OF THE EVERYONE TAB

I am a woman of the people

@taterhole

2d ago

🖐

Rejecting the Commodification of the Self

I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.

@taterhole

Dec 27, 2024