now i get to travel for work regularly and very privileged to be able to travel in my personal life too. I'm not quite there with being a writer but I do write essays for my own personal sense making. also I have a pet dog who is now 6, he is my first dog and we are inseparable. I also have a bunch of wild birds I feed who I count as my unofficial pets.
life is good but it took a bunch of experimenting and failure and disappointing people and things not turning out the way I thought they would to get to this. if you're in the midst of it, don't worry, keep going. things will turn out the way they are supposed to in time!
Related Recs
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I am right in the middle of a very big transitional period in my life. I've got 22 days left of my corporate job. In 30 days I will be arriving in Lisbon for a one month stay where I will finish my book, work on a collaborative project, go to the beach, meet new people, find new opportunities and heal (literally, I am 99% sure I am about to medically diagnosed with stress). This starts a journey of Becoming A Full Time Artist that is terrifying and precarious. I am about to move back home but I'm not seeing it as a step backwards even though I will miss sin house very much.
I've been dating for the first time in years after two back-to-back ill-advised long distance situationships lol. I feel more connected to who I am and what I want now. I like connecting with new people and learning about them. I like that people want to go on dates with me.
I've been making an extra effort to see my friends. I've missed them so much. Being with them makes me realise what life is all about.
I've been writing songs and recording old ones. I'm playing my first headline show in a really long time tomorrow. I've been reframing how I think of my music career to find validation in small successes and in developing my craft - rather than acquainting the number of plays I get to my worth. This is not easy and yet I persist.
I've been feeling better post-heartbreak. I've also been finding out I have to go for an MRI and a tilt table test to confirm once and for all my heart is okay. My heart has taken a battering in every possible way but it finally feels like I can see some light. I was told to avoid all strenuous activity and heavy lifting eight months ago but the other week I finally got the go ahead from the hospital that it's safe for me to do it again. I have been able to move again and I've started playing badminton and I really love it. I even did a little run on the treadmill last week whilst screaming along to Brat!! It felt euphoric and I can feel my body getting stronger.
Life is good/messy/chaotic/scary/exciting/still somehow peaceful
Aug 14, 2024
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i just wanna get paid for creative expression for the rest of my life. make enough money to have two dogs, a garden, and a cool house to live with my friends in. no kids, no marriage, just chillin’, travelin’ the world, makin’ shit
Feb 7, 2024
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I’m not going to call this gifted kid burnout which I think is often just a symptom of the popping of the bubble of people’s confused delusions of grandeur because they didn’t realize that gifted education programs are at best a way of giving specialized and individualized education, and at worst a way of achieving legal segregation in schools.
Not to brag, but my therapist who specialized in EMDR therapy for treating people with trauma told me that I had the most difficult childhood of anyone she had ever treated. It was also filled with beauty and I was encouraged in my many skills and pursuits early on, but the inner rot of compounded repeated traumas, keeping secrets, and hiding my suffering eventually took hold.
I was always a good student but as things at home intensified I cared less and less. A teacher noticed this and tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. This made matters more complicated for me because still to this day he’s my favorite teacher that I ever had; he taught me much of what I know about writing and helped me to develop my skills.
After that, I spent my time in school just coasting along, putting in the minimal amount of effort to no fail. I had no goals or ambition. After graduation, I flitted from service job to service job. I started seeing my therapist and thinking about what I actually wanted to do.
I realized I had one exceptional skill which could be monetized to my advantage and I threw myself into it, grinding to make a living and improve my station in life. This worked and I live in decent material comfort, but I’ve realized the lifestyle I always thought I wanted isn’t what I want at all, so I’m reevaluating that and beginning to explore what that looks like.
There are several different exciting paths of progression my career could take, but I’m also finally working on creative projects for the first time in about a decade, so I’m going to see where life takes me. My best friend tells me I should become certified as a yoga teacher, and going back to school to study psychology and become a therapist would also be tight. I would love to seek a second career.
It took me a long time to get here but I’m trying to actualize and find purpose… Something something Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
May 26, 2024
Top Recs from @theeyah
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i don't think anyone ever intends to become a recreational ornithologist. but i've noticed that it definitely creeps up on you slowly in your mid-twenties. it starts with noticing how funny pigeons are, then learning pigeon lore, and suddenly you're feeding your neighbourhood birds every morning and buying books on birds. as a child i idolised the pigeon lady in home alone 2, and i woke up this morning and realised — i AM the pigeon lady 🐦
Mar 6, 2025
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reading is a habit of building and developing your empathy and critical thinking skills. you’re forced to sit with an idea for however long you are reading it and forced to contextualise it and comprehend it within your own life and perspective. You can’t just scroll away or pause or put it on 2x speed. you have to sit with it. it’s super underrated, but genuinely I’ve made this a habit for the last year and feel like a totally different person. also you come out of it having learned something new or seeing the world in a slightly new way. I literally do not see any downsides to reading. make reading cool again! also you don’t have to do it in one big block, you can space it out — 15 mins here, 45 there — whatever works for you!
Dec 9, 2024
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our cultural obsession with being perceived as cool is a disease. its peak capitalistic/consumerist propaganda. fuck being cool. like what you like and who cares if it's cool or not. it's tiresome and we need to leave it in 2024. literally nothing gives me the ick more than people who betray themselves in an attempt to be perceived as cool by the masses. be yourself — even if it means you're 'uncool'.
Jan 3, 2025