I mean this both socially and academically but especially socially. I feel like there’s this expectation that you’ll find your friend soulmates your first week at university and that you’re never gonna be alone for the rest of however long you’re there, and for most people that’s simply not true. Especially when you’re not a heavy drinker (which is more than okay lol) it can feel a bit ostracizing when the party and bar scenes are just not as appealing and you’re unsure where to connect with others.
Friends will naturally come and you’ll feel lonely at times and it can feel kinda uncomfortable but that’s okay
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I know that it feels like you’re waiting to find your people, and it’s isolating and lonely and I want to affirm that that’s hard— but in the same way that you are waiting, your people are out there waiting to meet you. I understand the difficulties of an anti-social campus, but I encourage you to find clubs, events, and activities that you already enjoy, because whoever you meet there already has something in common with you.
If you have a class with anyone who you think is cool, thinks in a way you admire, or whose writing you like— tell them. There’s nothing more affirming than feeling noticed by a classmate, and I met my closest girlfriends that way.
You could try an intramural sports league, or a climbing gym, or a book club. I promise you’ll find your friends, they’re looking for you too.
Sep 5, 2024
I'm in highschool currently, this is supposed to be where you experience everything for the first time, but I'm experiencing it all alone. I can't possibly get someone to hang out with me, either they're busy or I'm not their preferred company. I'm trying to accept this fact, but it's still difficult to understand when I've attempted to make myself likeable for so, so long. If you're going through the same thing, just know that you'll find your people one day, and even though it's been said a thousand times, there's someone out there for YOU! :]
Jan 30, 2025
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First off, ditch the misogynistic crowd like the plague (I’m sure you already know this!). Secondly, every pre-existing friendship group feels out of reach until you become part of it. People naturally will gravitate towards people they’ve known longer and are close with. The only way to become more part of a group is to be with them more. This is true of any friendship or friendship group. The more you show up to it, the more it becomes a solid friendship. When you find a person or a group you get on with, keep meeting up with them. Don’t be embarrassed to ask, everyone was new once! And sometimes you don’t even have to ask, if there’s a specific event they always attend, become a regular, just hang out! Friendship doesn’t just happen like we often think it does, it requires being in the same places, and putting in the same effort repeatedly. friendship seemed easier at school, but that’s because you were in the same place with the same people everyday. Obviously keep an eye out for people or groups who are clearly just not wanting to reciprocate that energy and look for people who are open to it! I struggle with this too, especially as someone who can’t get out all the time, but my most recent example is my friend Ant runs a little acoustic night every wednesday, so I’m starting to go every Wednesday to talk to him behind the bar, and to be around our mutual friends who arent necessarily my friends yet but become more so everything I’m there. royallmonarch has a great rec about community when trying to make a city a home that I’ll try to share in the comments cause it wont seem to let me do it here!
Apr 7, 2024
Top Recs from @lmaolson
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either your hair being a bit gross, your outfit not being a fit, some fugly comfy shoes, there’s something strangely empowering in it
Jun 20, 2024
I took it in a canon rebel g that I was lucky enough to find at an estate sale for about $20 and it’s by far my favorite pic I’ve ever taken! I think the film is like fujifilm ISO 400 or something idk but I love the colors it brings out
Sep 21, 2024
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Whenever I click show more it just shows me the recs already displayed, especially when it’s a longer list w like 20 recs
Sep 16, 2024