Oct 2, 2024
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Apr 7, 2025
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I’m a perfectionist. Surprise surprise. Many people don’t really believe me when I say this, because I’m sort of messy, I never unpack my luggage after a trip, I have 50 different tote bags all around my house all filled with random things I don’t want to put away, and I procrastinate. But every time I have a show, I’m like…no one talk to me before I go onstage. No one come near me. Amanda (my manager) is the only person I like to be around pre show. I put a lot of pressure on myself to have like “the BEST SHOW EVER” and when anything goes slightly wrong…you knowwww I’m crying the second I step off stage. So on my most recent US tour, I got off to a little bit of a rocky start with some tech issues, which the audience obviously thought nothing of, lol, but I get soooo sad and down on myself whenever anything like that happens. I had one show in LA in January at the Fonda, and no offense to the venue but the sound was whack, and my in ears weren’t working, and I had no onstage monitors…so I was like…TERRIBLE. I was so defeated and stressed during my performance it was just a mess. The kicker was that everyone from my label was at the show, which I didn’t know until after i stepped off stage..sobbing. I’ve found it really comforting to watch youtube compilation videos of pop stars / musicians having tech issues, or just giving like bad performances lol. It’s the content that half of my suggested videos on youtube is made up of lol. It’s comforting to see that these sort of bumps in the road don’t really go away, but experience performing allows you to handle it better. Lol at that clip of Beyoncé on stage saying “somebody’s getting fired.” I watch the compilations to reaffirm that it’s not me doing anything wrong, per say, and that everybody, Beyoncé included has a show that isn’t “perfect” every now and then.
Dec 20, 2022
