A) Iām sorry that happened, thatās an insensitive thing to joke about and it reflects poorly on their character, Iām sure it sucked to hear. I know that having peace/civility with roommates is important, and that it can feel crappy to be the one that voices discomfort when everyone else seems okay with it.
B) You donāt have to go out of your way to address it, but if it comes up again, you can always say āIām not comfortable talking about a classmate this wayā ā that isnāt a judgement about them, itās just you announcing a personal choice. The lever of social shame should remind them that if youāre uncomfortable with it, maybe they should be as well. But also, itās okay if youāre not comfortable saying thatā you arenāt responsible for reminding other people to be kind, and itās okay to choose your battles in a shared living space.
