i was actually just having this convo with someone! i find that people who do have a monologue like me find it hard to believe people donā€™t. iā€™ve heard you guys think in feelings and connections like a flow chart but like how do you do that without words lol. for me the voice doesnā€™t belong to anyone! itā€™s not mine, itā€™s not gendered, itā€™s not identifiedā€¦itā€™s just a voice. i also find people without an internal monologue seem to think we have a narrator dictating our every action but it a bit more abstract than that. my brain is never quiet as thereā€™s always a voice processing my emotions, reactions and perceptions at all times. but the processing isnā€™t complete thoughts with proper punctuation, just a constant barrage of information, working in tandem with images and feelings. its likely why iā€™m prone to over thinking and snowballing (when i was on SSRIs briefly, it all definitely got more quiet up here). also, iā€™ve noticed a lot of people who donā€™t have a monologue also canā€™t do the classic ā€œpicture the appleā€ test but is that the case? if you can picture the apple do you think pictorially? i just couldnā€™t imagine not having my consciousness mutter in the back of my head constantly.
Sep 30, 2024

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šŸ—£
itā€™s as if i was talking to someone in a long-winded way but not mindful of how much iā€™m talking? itā€™s basically that to myself ALL DAY. as someone with adhd, itā€™s also kind of all over the place when i donā€™t take my meds or have coffee, bc i can get so distracted lol. also when i type things i read them ā€œaloudā€ in my head. a lot of people call being able to talk in your head an ā€œinner monologueā€ which is exactly how it feels to me! i can also imagine/ā€œhearā€ other peopleā€™s voices in my head, kind of like a memory. i can imagine them them saying whatever but mostly just what theyā€™ve actually said to me. and i donā€™t have the best memory lol but my memories are very vivid, visually and auditory i know aphantasia is the inability to picture things in your head (my sister has it), itā€™s surprising that not having an inner monologue doesnā€™t have an official term!
Oct 2, 2024
šŸ“Ÿ
Canā€™t stop saying things like ā€œā€œordering an americano and a chocolatine for breakfastā€ā€ ā€œā€œā€washing your handsā€ā€œā€ ā€ā€ā€opting to not wear a scarf today because itā€™s 2 degreesā€ā€ā€ to myself I swear itā€™s like a CBT technique but better
Feb 1, 2024
āœ’ļø
Sometimes a thought pops up in my brain: Am I bipolar, or just a girl who doesnā€™t know how to deal with her feelings? One moment I am having the best time ever and just like that my mind fills up with my deepest and worst memories/thoughts. I guess something just triggers a part of my brain that has those memories but its just weird. Its like a panic attack but just affecting my mood. And I am a person who canā€™t really hide how they are from the outside so I just ruin everything for everyone;( It is just so draining to always be on the edge of happiness. Whenever I am happy I feel like I am just waiting for the second I will feel bad. There is just no stability just the constant wait until Iā€™ll feel depressed again. And donā€™t worry I just took the first step of getting myself a therapist šŸ«” (this was really hard for me idk why)
Aug 31, 2024

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šŸš«
started writing this a few hours ago when i first saw this ask, then decided against posting but i've since changed my mind. there really is no justification for it outside of entitlement. even from a selfish lens, there's no long term benefit to its usage. it harms the world and culture in more ways than one. a.) the water and energy usage that isn't a secret at this point. "no ethical consumption under capitalism" yadda yadda and yeah corporations are extremely culpable in the state of the environment but there really is no need for chatgpt and the planet is already too delicate at the moment. b.) the exploitation of workers in the global south. this program is not just a computer figuring it all out, there are in fact humans behind it. it reminds me of the acceptance of fast fashion and how people have the tendency to divorce the idea of the garment worker from the garment they wear when all clothing is handmade in some way, shape or form. you need hands to man a sewing machine, you need human eyes to moderate content. also, content moderation can be a thankless job with psychological repercussions. c.) the erosion of social skills, humanity and media literacy...this one is very personal. like, you have a cushy email job but can't write an email? you need a computer and a worker in kenya to get paid a dollar an hour to figure out a daily routine for you? i've seen the program churn out blatantly incorrect information. fine tuning a prompt or chat or whatever to give you the exact (possibly incorrect) answer you need isn't really that much less work than sharpening your research skills by cracking open a dictionary or using boolean search keys in google. again, the main issue with this kind of stuff is the entitlement to convenience, with no thought towards the repercussions within and outside of us. we are losing major recipes (critical thinking and media literacy) here, people! i probably did an iffy job are coherently articulating my thoughts here but i am in fact, human. and thatā€™s the beauty of it all.
Oct 1, 2024