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it’s an emotion (heartbreak is like this too) that you are unable to understand or fully imagine until you’ve gone through it. it’s gut wrenching and you feel it physically. i don’t think it’s something you have to (or can) ever “get over”.
a lot of times people show that diagram of grief where the grief is a ball in a cube and the cube is your emotions/mind and the ball is your grief. and at first the ball takes up the entire cube. and the difference over time is not that the grief shrinks but that you get more space around it.
i think for me what i’ve come to embrace about it, as i’ve worked through grief with loved ones that i’ve lost is 1) yes, to love is oftentime to lose; but to lose is to have loved, and that is better than never having love in your life. and 2) grief does this weird thing to most of us where it pops up whenever you see or experience things that remind you of those you miss. and at first it is painful or maybe even feels like a nuisance, but i’ve come to embrace it. i am so glad that my mind HAS clung onto parts of those i loved no longer here and that i feel or think of them in those little moments. i don’t think you have to be religious or even spiritual to appreciate that one.
Sep 25, 2024
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It's a really crazy thing to experience, grief is a feeling that is shared-- I think-- across animals, it's one of the deepest feelings we have that is also felt by others, not just humans. But since I can only speak for humans, here it is. I think grief is about as bittersweet as it gets. Grief is the feeling of absence; the feeling of losing a love that was once there, which is to say, there is a part of you that go to experience that love and that's something to be grateful for. I've found that grieving people who are still alive is so strange, there's always a part of me that wants to will the person back into my life but I always wonder if it's worth it. Sometimes I also grieve for my younger self. All the endless possibilities of what I could've been if the circumstances were different. It can make you spiral a bit, so I suppose a word of advice (that no one really asked for and that's okay): find ways to ground yourself, find people who help you ground yourself, and always remember that you're here and that's enough.
2d ago
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holding space for one without the other will inevitably lead one into depression. knowing life is both beautiful and horrible at the same time is the best way. and! existing in the world with the assumption that everyone is grieving makes one’s perspective a more compassionate one.
Apr 26, 2024
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The best way is to just accept your grieving process. Accept that you are feeling things and accept your reactions to those feelings. that's extremely hard, i know. You probably just want to distract yourself instead of dealing with the elephant in your brain. But being upfront with yourself and your feelings really helps.
Maybe, instead of longing the past, celebrate it. Instead of bringing yourself down because you don't have them anymore, remind yourself of how lucky you are to have had that person in your life.
Aug 19, 2024
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being traditionally cool is really quite boring and iterative, and it’s actually very cool and sexy to geek out about something you like or share bits of knowledge on a topic you’re passionate about
Aug 17, 2024
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WORKER’S DAY!!!! i love having a union, i love being a union steward and getting to support my unit. when my union won its contract, i got a pay bump, better benefits, and increased protection as a worker. 🥳
unions help address racial and gender pay gaps, issues workplaces impose on families and those having kids, addressing unsafe conditions, plus things like better health insurance, wages and overtime, weingarten rights to representation, and more!!!
if you don’t have a union but are thinking about forming one, check out AFL-CIO’s page (linked) or Emergency Workplace Organizing Committee. there’s always more power in a union!! ✊🥖🌹
May 1, 2025
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i had it for a little over a year until i was like wow this is actually terrible! i genuinely think it has negatively impacted society by ruining people’s attention spans, having a horrific algorithm, and most of all by the most mind-numbing or outright harmful trends -
fake words that people now use IRL (“unalive”), trad wife tiktok, shein hauls, body-focused fitness vids that encourage fatphobia and unhealthy habits, shallow political/feminist theory and queer discourse, “alpha male” podcaster tiktok, encouraging overconsumption in general, trends ruining local spots or niche things… the list goes on
Aug 17, 2024