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There's a thing that I notice at art museums sometimes. Someone wearing a slightly annoyed expression will be speeding through the exhibit like they are going down a long to do list. Or I'll be playing a board game with a group and there will be some guy with a strained face looking like they'd rather be anywhere else. Maybe another time we're leaving a movie and they start to complain about how it 'wasn't realistic', you get the picture. I swear to God it makes me want to pulpify their face. I'm not saying that you need to like every piece of art or that you should feel bad for not liking a movie, but, goddamn, at least give it a fucking second. Closing yourself off to The New, being automatically opposed to earnestness when it appears, is one of the most damaging defense mechanisms I can think of. It is, in turn, also one of the best ways to maximize your misery. The defense mechanism that is cynicism, turns its users into parasites of the Social; they are sold the idea (a lie) that damaging and denigrating <<something>> allows one to become independent of its power structure. On the contrary, just as a leech is the most dependent on its host, cynics are those that are most dependent on the power structures in our culture.  I really want to emphasize the difference between criticism and cynicism, because I am in no way saying that we should not criticize bad or damaging art, but to successfully criticize something means to first buy in, to really allow yourself to be taken by a piece, to examine it as it comes. Buying in as a term (even one so bathed in capitalist sebum) is the right one in this case because to buy in requires one to make a sacrifice. You cannot experience art without opening yourself to the possibility that it will do damage to you. To fully allow yourself to be moved by a piece of art is to allow yourself to be cut.  But inside that cut is what it means to be human. I think the single best way to combat cynicism is an unceasing curiosity of the world and the people in it. The normal and common of this world is absolutely fantasmatic if you take a moment to examine it; we see the world through have fluid filled orbs made of meat for fucks sake. The fact that there is anything at all, the fact that you and I exist for even a second is an absolutely unbelievable mind fuck, and to be unimpressed by any and everything doesn’t make you special or better than anyone, it just leaves you on a road to the pit of despair and leaves me really bummed out for the rest of the night.

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I understand the stop-at-whatever-catches-your-eye style of visiting museums and galleries but it makes me sad to see people rush through. The real joy of art is the breakthrough that occurs after engaging with a made thing. Some helpful questions to ask: -What is the title of the piece and how does it relate it what I see? -Why did I stop/hurry past? -Why is it here? Does it belong to the space or to a theme? -What does it allow me to do/see/think/play with?
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100TH REC HOMIES Here it goesss... Recently watched a documentary about one of my favourite artists, Coulter Jacobs, and there's a shot in the film that briefly lingers on a quote he had painted onto a block of wood: Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest* My take on it: The quote isn't anything revolutionary, but within the context of the doc, which focuses on Jacobs' artistic pursuits/struggles and influence within the LA tattoo artist + abstract art community, it perfectly sums up the importance of being forgiving & allowing yourself room to breathe when you're working on your craft. As someone who has a tendency to overthink & give my all with even the smallest of tasks, finding that delineation between seriousness and levity can get very blurry at times, but perhaps that's exactly why that short sentence stood out to me and it may be of use to you too. Whether you consider yourself an artist or not, it's just as good a reminder to not take everything in this life with too much severity. It's a heavy existence already, no need to make it harder on yourself by treating everything like it will utterly make or break your life and/or career. *The quote originally comes from Hermann Hesse, a German-Swiss novelist, poet, painter & Nobel laureate whose works focused a lot on the pursuit of personal authenticity and self-understanding.
Apr 11, 2024
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With the recent passing of David Lynch, I felt it necessary to explore his works in totality in tribute to the loss of a brilliant artist. This is a journey that I have not yet completed, but it has been a tremendous self-actualizing experience. I am not alone in this journey. Last week, I watched Blue Velvet for the first time. Not long after I finished the film, analysis videos appeared on my Tiktok feed. It was a fine video and a sound analysis of the film, but not long after I felt as though I had been mentally visited by David Lynch's ghost; shaking his head in disappointment at me. For many years I had been happy to listen to reviews, video essays, other people's analyses, etc., sometimes even before coming to my own conclusions about them. I think the point of David Lynch's works — and indeed art, media, etc., broadly — is to keep asking questions about them. The second you come to a conclusion at all, you stop thinking about the work, and that magic of exploration is lost. David Lynch believed that within every human being is a vast ocean of consciousness, a creative force within us all or — in a word — magic. When you sit, think, ask questions, and catch your own unique ideas, this is a scrap of magic from that creative ocean within you. It's what makes you human. So please, put down your phone and log off of your computer a while. Go to a museum and stare at a painting that catches your fancy for a long, long time. Watch a weird artsy film and then take a walk in a park and argue with yourself. And never stop doing that. You are beautiful and capable of making ideas that no one else has had before. And that is magical and should be celebrated. Thank you for reading this kind of rambling post. I hope you have a nice evening. RIP David Lynch.
Jan 23, 2025

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The audio in this movie is so thoughtful, the only music we hear is from music that is actually happening in the story. The women singing, the piano, the symphony all were some of the most powerful pieces of music I have seen in a film. Each shot belongs in this film too; every once in a while there are pieces of art that exceed my wildest imaginations of how good something can be, this is one of them.
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When I return to the places I lived There is a sink that tends to be soul felt Its just a wall, a room, paper, some wood I want to tear down paint, paper, to studs Even the studs, could be shredded - exposed There is nothing below but more sameness My bones are just, eyes and heart are, objects During disect-tations, we did the same We ripped until organs were mixed pieces We cut brazen looking for what? something An eye, beaut’ful, wet soft, there is ne’re more Looking for the subject in the object Looking for the pain, love, a house no home To be studs, paint, paper, instead of I am  A thing, ‘stead of The Thing rips me apart I am I am I am I am I am Please don't pull me from this body of mine It fails and falls, but it is all, all all.
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In truth people really don't give a shit as long as you are chill.