I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're still so young. You have an incredible amount of time ahead of you. Life is about consistently working more and more to create your own personal heaven. It's never too late. Having it all figured out is an illusion.
To share a bit about where I'm coming from, I dropped out of school twice. I didn't finish my undergrad until was 25. I didn't even start my master's until I was 27. Even then, I didn't have a clear vision. I just made the next decision I needed to and let the wisdom of each experience guide me into the next.
You're never locked in. You always have the ability to shed and shift, even at a great cost. Even failures guide us to what we need. Go bravely forth! The path will not be straight- it's a winding road!
Aug 5, 2024
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the idea that you can only fuck up and express and be beautiful and destructive and explorative and constructive in your youth is simply a myth. you are going to continue to fuck up and you are going to continue to blossom. there's no linear path and structure on that. even people in their 50's completely change their entire lives. nothing is fixed and there is no path to follow.
your life isn't over until it's over.
this narrative that once you start to age you can no longer explore and express is an oppressive, capitalist, and intentional one. also, it's just not true.
your responsibility doesn't have to be boring or restrictive. the reason why you become more responsible is because you actually care about yourself. irresponsibility isn't the same as freedom. irresponsibility can be "fun" but also destroys you. having more responsibilities to keep yourself safe and cared for isn't the antithesis to fun and life and expression.
your feelings make sense though. in college it's easier to meet people and try new things. but ease doesn't translate to quality or longevity or intrigue. but funny enough, there are 30 year olds now that probably feel the exact same way about you as you feel about the people slightly younger than you.
there is no such thing as free years in terms of spirit.
expression and exploration is available in all forms at all ages. there are always places to go, hikes to walk, friends to laugh with, mistakes to make, good food to eat, art to create, fights to have, things to fail at, lessons to be learned, and love to be felt.
you're only 23. you're about to enter a new chapter of your life where you will fuck up and you will have stories to tell, adventure to explore, feelings to express, and people to love. and that is something that will always be true.
Jul 11, 2024
I turned 21 in february 2020, so, ya know. My world changed quick.
But truly I just remember trying various things, trying to define and undefine myself. Feeling what it felt like to stick to my guns, then readjust them. I was in the middle of what would be a 2.5 year relationship. I didn't kid myself with picturing a big future anymore than what was sweet, which was wonderful. I was living with a partner for the first time and felt like I knew what to do, like I was experienced enough for all the problems which faced me. but really I was just experienced enough to start so many things.
I was constantly bouncing between total pride and complete faliure. Playing house in a house I was actually renting with friends. Experimenting with what grocery shopping for myself meant to my life, redifining how I was going to live my days in the future.
The best thing I did in my 21st year of life was not be too mean to myself for not committing, and just committing to new things. I would go dance in the park, go on walks, edit music. All things I wish I did on the regular but regardless, by trying new things, it made it so much easier to pick them up, because I had a frame of reference for the world.
I loved being 20, as depressed as I was. That specific creativity is gone. But now I am 25 and know how to weild my own magic. The depth I have always felt within my soul has farther definition. Its like I put on glasses in a 7th dimention. Don't underestimate the beautiful growth ahead. Yes you are an adult, equipped hopefully to start so many new things. But keep up that internal work, and the years will be bountiful towards true inner peace.
And soo many more new tools to better learn how to tackle issues while still feeling like yourself.
u got this. stay true to urself but be flexibl with redifining who that is.
x
Jun 12, 2024
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or I guess theres no set time of one’s life that should universally be their golden years, rather. I had an awful time starting my 20s, I graduated in 2021 having already lost half my college career to the pandemic, spent a year post college trying unsuccessfully to launch a career, lost another year moving back home to deal with family obligations, then found myself at 23 thinking I had missed the window on some universal period of self actualization that was supposed to happen between ages 19-22.
I think this idea is engrained in us because the progression laid out by our capitalist framework is that we do k-12 school, figure out how to apply our knowledge to a field in college, then know ourselves well enough by then to fit into whatever role we have chosen as the most productive for ourselves, and then do that stably as a career until retirement. or you get married and have kids to and support the domestic life of the partner who progresses professionally. obv what crises like COVID demonstrate is that this progression is flawed, and it’s not a one size fits all mold. to limit one’s entire development as a person into what they do to prepare for a lifetime of working is insanely reductive.
if you find yourself jealous of those younger than you, it’s likely that you envy the stage of life they are in - the stage just before they assume responsibility and obligation and lose the agency to chose how they apply themselves. this is somewhat of an imposed illusion, though. we all have agency at all points of our life to make the choices that can lead us towards our own flourishing, whether they be big steps or small ones.
for me, I decided to change career paths entirely and pursue grad school. i’m about to graduate and now i’m feeling like my passions are leading me elsewhere other than the field I set out to enter when I started my program. I turn 26 in like 3 weeks and i’m still figuring out what drives me and how to pursue it. for some folks that clarity of direction may come sooner, for some it may come later, but the point isn’t for that clarity to steer you to a destination where you then arrive at self actualization and can finally enjoy being - the point is to have the clarity to enjoy where you’re at within process of discovery. to be is to be in process.
ditch the assembly line mindset you were taught, you don’t come out of your early 20s a fully assembled human ready to produce economic value. your whole life is a process of constructing and deconstructing, adding on new pieces, finding joy in troubleshooting the newness of each piece, swapping the old parts for ones that might serve you better, being informed in the creation of the new by what didn’t serve you with the old. you slowly build yourself into a state that works in each moment to produce the greatest flourishing for you in that instance. to inhabit that process actively is self realization. it’s a task, not a place.
you aren’t a fixed piece, and you shouldn’t envy those who are chronologically younger than you because you assume time grants them more freedom to assemble themselves than it does you. they might be more or less realized than you based on how much time or thought they’ve dedicated to the task or how much freedom they’ve had to pursue it. understand, though, that you have control over how much time and thought you dedicate to your own realization and can act on it regardless of stage of life. sometimes obligation gets in the way of the immediacy of that ability, trust me I get that, but even taking brief moments to envision what things or places or people or experiences might serve to build you up in the ways that you need is valuable in and of itself for granting you a sense of direction that you can pursue at any time.
just don’t get so caught up in feeling like you need clarity first to know what to do. don’t sit around getting distracted waiting for it to come to you. interrogate it, seek it out. use your time wisely, but don’t be mislead into thinking there’s a timer on it. there’s no deadline if the assignment isn’t to present a product but instead to enjoy the process of creating and discovering for as long as you so choose.
Jul 11, 2024
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For some reason this brings me into my parasympathetic nervous system
Mar 28, 2025
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FINDING SOMEONE ANNOYING AND IMMEDIATELY REALIZING IT’S BECAUSE THEY REMIND YOU OF YOUR YOUNGER SELF
OH BROTHER THIS GUY actually needs a lot of empathy and understanding
Apr 2, 2025
Breaking my very thin, almost non existent air of mystery because I got a haircut I actually like, my favorite jeans fit again, it’s a full moon eclipse, 70°, and both of my kids’ birthdays are today!! MAGIC IS REAL AND I AM FULL OF LOVE! 💗 💗💗💗💗💗
Mar 14, 2025