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This is hard for me to answer!

Because these are the moments I cherish most in life, and they feel so integrated into who I am that it’s hard to recall them individually… * Going to reclaimed lumber yards, architectural salvage shops, quarries, plant nurseries, and the DUMP with my dad in his bright red '90s GMC Sierra. * Going to the alpaca farm with my family and seeing my mom get her hair eaten by a camel (see below photo which is a picture of a picture of our ancient family dome iMac—my dad managed to immortalize this moment forever. I’m the one with the denim hat). * Snow in the desert… almost never happened, but when it did, it was a big deal, so it’s still special to me every time I see snow living up north. * Every moment I spent with my dearly departed childhood pets and my own three pets that have passed. I feel lucky to have documented my time with my pets so thoroughly, so I can look back and remember every little moment. * Going to my grandparents’ house on the lake in the DFW area for Christmas. Before my grandmother developed dementia, she had a distant, chilly WASPish demeanor but showed her love through her homemaking. They had a beautiful home with the most relaxing and cozy atmosphere. I loved waking up early with her and my grandfather before everybody else, pouring a cup of freshly percolated coffee, and sitting in the sunroom reading the Dallas Morning News as the sun came up. The ticking of their clocks and the sounds of them puttering around in the kitchen, starting some elaborate breakfast, put me at ease. I had a very complicated relationship with my grandfather, to say the least (which you can read about in the attached link—I tried to embed it in this parenthetical but the link window is broken), but their house gave me a feeling of being home that I never had anywhere else.

@taterhole

Nov 28, 2024

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Calling your 99-Year-Old Grandmother

I called up my 99-year-old grandmother the other day.  “Hello?” she said. “Hey Grandma, it’s William. I missed your call last night. Is everything okay? How are you?” I said. “Oh hi William. Yes. I’m fine. Thank you” she replied.  Her voice sounded dazed and soft. She held back her usual grandmotherly enthusiasm and silliness in favor of a more direct candor. It was around 9:30 in the morning. My phone call must have woken her up. She seemed both awake and asleep. She began speaking, “I just had the strangest dream. It was my 100th birthday and a news crew was there waiting outside my door when I woke up. They had cameras and lights in my face and everyone was on the street cheering. Anderson Cooper was there and he congratulated me. He looked into my eyes and stuck a microphone in my face and the cameras were rolling and everything. And everyone I ever knew was there. They looked at me and cheered and sang. Frank Sinatra was there and he sang ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ to me and spun me around the front entrance of my house. Right in front of everyone. And Buddy Hackett was there. And he cracked jokes and made everyone laugh. He said he remembered me from high school in Brooklyn and that I was always top of the class. And The Righteous Brothers. They were there too. They had their suits buttoned all the way to the top and their hair slicked back real nice. And they looked right out of a magazine. They sang ‘Unchained Melody’ to me and your grandfather. He was there too. He looked plump and his face rosy. His hair was big and bushy and he smiled his uneven smile at me. As they played ‘Unchained Melody’ he grabbed my hand and we had our first dance again. We swayed back and forth and got married all over again. And he told me he loved me and he always had. He said he was happy about how much life I have lived. And he told me not to be upset about how much he had missed, because he hadn’t really missed it. And my parents were there too. Carmelo and Maria. And they looked on and smiled. They still didn’t understand the words of the song, but they knew what it meant. And my uncle Zitzi. The bricklayer. He was there too. Looking the same as he always had. Big and burly, with arms like tree trunks, just like I remembered him. He held out his arms and the kids swung on them like monkeys. He told me he was proud of me. Of who I became. Of how strong I was. He said he was proud to have laid all those bricks. Each and every one. Because it helped feed us kids during the Depression when nobody else could. Because each brick made him stronger and gave him meaning. And everything I’d ever cooked was there. Every meatball and rice ball I’d ever formed in my hands and fried for my grandkids. For my kids. For everyone. Every piece of pasta I’d ever boiled. Every crab and shrimp, squid and clam, mussel and scallop. It formed a mountain that could touch the clouds. It surrounded us with gluten, red meat, shellfish, and tomatoes. A monument to the generations that left my house full and picking their teeth. It made the decades of burns and cuts long healed feel healed again. And Joe Torre was there, with Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera. They were in pinstripes and they forgave me for all the things I shouted at the TV. They forgave me for calling them bums. They thanked me for cheering and said I helped them win each game. And there were slot machines. Slot machines just like they had in Atlantic City. They were everywhere and their big levers were all pulled down. Every slot machine I had ever played was there and this time they all came up cherries. Cherries, three across on every machine. They were all jackpots and the change poured out of them like a geyser. Every single one was a winner. Everyone was there and everyone won. Can you believe it? Everyone. All of them were there in front of me. Looking at me on my 100th birthday. Everyone was there and everyone had seen how old I’d gotten. It was a nightmare.”

@will

STAFF

Oct 17, 2024

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This early draft i started writing in 2023 about my observations of a couple of close family members

The events I describe occurred in late 2022 and Jim ended up passing away from complications of his alcoholism in January 2023 (his death convinced my own father to quit drinking). Jim taught me how to shoot and his favorite activity was going to the range. We had countless conversations over black coffee about his childhood in Ireland, the writings of James Joyce, and the film adaptations of Tennessee Williams’s work. He was tremendously charming and had a sharp sense of humor. I was like the daughter he never had and I loved the bastard! May he rest in peace. (Might have to finish writing this…) — “Catherine had a mind like a pit bull.  Whatever the obstacle that presented itself in front of her, she would attack it with unrelenting determination.  She always got her way.  She had never come across a problem she couldn’t fix, except for what her brother had become.   It’s not like she had a lot of money, but she felt it was her duty to help her brother.  She went into thousands of dollars of debt procuring for him new furniture that would hopefully give him a new lease on life: a tasteful grey tweed three-seater sofa; a cozy armchair with a matching footstool befitting a family patriarch; a mid-century modern wooden coffee table; an oversized gold tripod lamp with a barrel shade.    She felt she could trigger a powerful change if she could just replace the trappings of his old life which were so loaded with bad memories — memories from before, in the blink of an eye, it had became apparent to her that Jim was in his final death spiral.  If life looked normal, life could become normal. Denial is a powerful drug, almost as powerful as the liter of Fireball Jim would drink every day, metered out and portioned into little airline-sized bottles so he could retain some semblance of control.  He would hide them in his dresser drawers, outside amongst his tools on the front porch, in the kitchen cabinets, under the bathroom sink.   She would discover them time and time again, after he had promised to her that he would stop.  She would confront him with the evidence each time he betrayed her.  If she could just make him feel an appropriate amount of shame, he would surely see the error of his ways. He had to be drunk all day every day, or he would get the DTs like he had before.  He couldn’t take time off of work to go to rehab, he said; he had already been given a special work-from-home accommodation and was still on the verge of being fired for absenteeism.  And plus, he was running out of days of covered inpatient rehabilitation treatment under Medicare.“

@taterhole

May 14, 2024

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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SURFING THE TIDES OF THE EVERYONE TAB

I am a woman of the people

@taterhole

May 28, 2025

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Rejecting the Commodification of the Self

I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.

@taterhole

Dec 27, 2024