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I'm a July baby. Growing up, I spent most of my birthdays alone. Some years because my friends had left the country. Some years because I'd left the country. Some years because I had no friends. And with every year passing, the pressure to spend my birthday surrounded by friends and family and to have a good time increased. Every year I felt like a failure when I couldn't make it happen. So I stopped telling people it's my birthday.
But today is my 28th birthday.
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For the past 2 years, I have been trying to not spend my birthday the way that we're "supposed to (ya know a party, a dinner, the whole thing), but I've always had friends who have always wanted me to do something on it, and I'm so burned out now. But I'm so excited to just say NO and spend the day by myself!!!
Idk what imma do but I'm pumped
Apr 29, 2024
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it’s such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know it’s such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but they’d never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isn’t a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
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I’ve come to the ripe age of 22 and it might be the first time I haven’t cried on my birthday. Only half way through but so far kept it casual and have not let any bad thoughts come through. Replying to any kind messages but definitely not sitting and waiting for them. Woke up, went to work, currently drinking an iced chai by myself, meeting a friend later for a quick lunch and that’s about it! a regular mid may sunny day. Go outside. be kind to yourself. take it easyyy
May 21, 2024
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I hadn't seen my friend since New Year's Eve. Now it was October, her wedding day, and she barely gave me the chance to gush over her gorgeous dress, her makeup, her jewelry.
"You look happier," she said. "Your energy has changed. It's much calmer now. I'm happy for you."
I love her for taking the time out of her special day to notice me like that.
Oct 13, 2024
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"If the two of you are so good together, why don't you make a move?" my friend asked me in a dream about the guy I was ever so slowly falling for. Those words echoed through my mind for months, from the first date till the final breakup.
Jun 14, 2024
"Aren't you ruining your friendship?" he asked when he learned that my best friend and I share a bed when we visit each other. Even though he said we wouldn't work as a couple, he couldn't hide the jealousy in his voice. I could understand his jealousy: my best friend is the kindest man you'll ever meet, 6'5", level-headed, wouldn't hurt a fly. He's my polar opposite: calm, soft spoken, mentally stable. He's my mirror image: adventurous, athletic, a reader. We click, platonically. We don't click at all, romantically. So when we share a bed and I crawl into his arms in the middle of the night, it's so he can chase away the demons in my mind.
Jun 18, 2024