Adulting is a process. Iām far from having it ātogetherā but I have gotten better at say, filing taxes on time, balancing school and gym time, cooking, and keeping the house clean. None of these pieces came together at once, it was a process of learning each and making it a habit.
Lifelong learning a part of life. One thing Iāve learned through growing up is greater empathy for my parents. My mom was young when she had me and every time my birthday comes around, I realize how much she was doing at my age. (I donāt have kids, I donāt want kids, I respect people who choose to have kids, thatās incredible but Jesus itās a LOT of work)
Take it slow. Give yourself room to breathe. Love yourself. You have the rest of your life to perfect your habits and become good at āadultingā.
Jul 6, 2024
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16 years old was a weird time for me. it was the second time in my life I came out and being trans, and I have a huge memory gap right before the tail end of being 16. it's weird that I don't remember much of it anymore.
I think my biggest take away is that it hurts to let your perspectives change as you age, but you just have to let it happen if you want to grow. a lot of people you'll find in adulthood are stuck in mindsets and worldviews that form around their 20s, informed by things they vaguely remember as teens. not that there's anything wrong with it, just that I personally feel that the teenage years might be the most self aware time of your life, while simultaneously being carefree for some. life at 23 for me feels like constantly having to work backwards - why do I believe this? why do I have this bad habit? why am I struggling with this same thing over and over? I feel like you still struggle with that when you're 16, but in your 20s the layers on top of the problems begin to form. and you can't avoid them, nessecarily. it's just easier to figure out why you have certain habits and beliefs before time obscures them, even without the memory loss I have.
as you control your own life fully you find it harder to get out of more intricate ruts.
the reality is, that we don't know everything. 16 is a time in your life when people almost demand you start planning for your future. and there's nothing wrong with that, nessecarily. but nothing is future proof. we have to live with a grain of salt and not get too involved in things that hurt. that gets harder to do as you get older, get stuck repeating old patterns. but practicing introspection and curiousity in your late teens is a great way to keep that muscle up as you get older. because things will change - facts, ways of life, even your opportunities you have. it just pays to be humble but optimistic.
also everyone's lying being an adult is pretty cool. I might be biased but I love having autonomy and a life and being taken seriously and getting older. never thought I would have any of those things. taxes suck but it's once a year and we have TurboTax now who cares. working sucks the most but it's just like going to school. you plan life around that chunk of time. only as an adult it's super flexible what you want to do.
also things hurt more now than they used to already. I've started grandma-maxxing with cardigans and canes.
Apr 13, 2025
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1. Open a high yield savings account and dedicate a certain amount of your income to it, or do something like all of your cashback from credit cards goes into it. Even if itās not a lot, forget about it and maybe one day it could help you out in a pinch.
2. Learn to be comfortable being by yourself if you arenāt already. Donāt wait for others, go out to eat by yourself, go to museums or concerts by yourself, sometimes you meet cool people or just have the best time by yourself or with a book and some great food.
3. When youāre feeling down, find the things that you still have to be grateful for, even if itās just the ability to go on a walk and breathe in clean air.
4. Pay attention to your friendsā reactions and advice when youāre doing good and when youāre doing bad. Sometimes their insecurities and jealousy will influence how they react and the advice they give you.
5. Donāt get a high maintenance animal early in your adult life if you havenāt already. This is the time to try to travel, even if itās a budget trip to a new city or state. Itās so much more difficult when youāve got dogs especially, unless itās well trained and comfortable with other people or you can afford boarding. Travel first!!! Experience things!
6. Learn to cook if you donāt already know how! I have way too many friends who are grown adults and ādonāt cookā or donāt know how. Itāll really help deepen your appreciation for food if youāre a foodie as well. I also happen to love feeding other people so my coworkers/neighbors benefit from my cooking lol.
7. Donāt be embarrassed. I like to tell myself when Iām in public āyouāll never see these people againā or āno one will remember this in a year, five years, etc.ā if I feel like Iāve done something to be embarrassed about. Itās definitely helped erase embarrassment about normal, human interactions that sometimes seem drastic just because itās our selves in the situation, when really no one is going to care if you stumble over words or drop something loudly in public, etc.
8. Last one: Learn to keep going. Youāre not always going to be on top of the world, youāre going to have down days, or even weeks or months. Things will go wrong, your heart might get broken, it canāt always be amazing and sometimes itās hard to see what we have going on thatās good. Itās going to be so important to remember that even though itās annoying to hear, things do get better. They do start to hurt less with time. You can change the direction your life is going at any time.
Also, happy belated birthday.
May 15, 2025
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I have had to learn to give myself grace and allow myself to grow. I tend to be hard on myself and want to find the quickest way to success. I know success takes time and I must be patient with myself. I am working on comparing myself less and truly trying to work on myself. I've found that getting into a routine has been the most helpful thing I can do for my mental health. I've learned how to say no and set boundaries for myself to avoid burn out. The 20s are such an interesting time, my mantra: you cannot worry about the things you have zero control over <3
Jan 4, 2025
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Am I sad Iām not in love? Or happy Iām not in love? I donāt know I just love watching people smoke cigarettes and cry in the rain and be messy on screen
May 4, 2025
Feb 18, 2025
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a detective investigates a string of murders where all the victims are killed the same way-but each by different killers. itās a fascinating look into the idea of the individual vs. society, the breaking point of āgood peopleā, and a frightening reassurance that you can never truly know another person.
Expert framing, great outfits, and solid plot, I havenāt stopped thinking about it since I watched it on criterion channel earlier this week.
May 3, 2025