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Join a club or take a class! It's funny how chatting with 9 people in real life & clicking with 1 person feels like such a win when I know if I talked to 8 people I don't click with online I would feel soul sucking failure. We're just animals, find a herd.
Jul 3, 2024
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Clubs don’t end after high school and/or college. Join local clubs that match your interests. I joined a local rec center tennis team, snowboarding in the winter, go ride biking trails. A lot of my activities I go to solo but so do so many other people. I’ve met so many wonderful people this way. Just be open to meeting and talking to new people!
Also, volunteering! I know two friends personally who are in long-term relationships with people they met this way.
I haven’t been looking to date but you easily could meet your other half by being more involved in your community.
May 16, 2024
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This is not a high quality rec because I'm not writing from current experience and may be completely missing the heart of the matter.
But:
Our lives revolve around internet and digital and apps and using our devices to communicate, that is the normal default for everyone, but it really doesn't serve us well—my opinion—when trying to spark friendships, deepen relationships, and find love.
My rec is to seek out spaces and groups where people gather and build community. And I honestly don't even know what that is. But there are probably interest groups or clubs—like a running club, if doable—or a volunteer projects where you'll start to rub shoulders with people who share interests and values.
Nov 11, 2024
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I’ve met friends through a book club, a mutual aid group, a film discussion class, improv classes (silly but made lifelong friends!), queer craft meetups…but honestly I had the most luck with BumbleBFF & other apps bc it eliminates the awkward part of not being sure if the people at the event wanna hang out outside of it or not.
Jul 23, 2024
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Feb 17, 2025
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Currently backpacking and whenever I'm in a place for a couple of days I buy a bag of potatoes.
They're CHEAP and delicious with everything, and you can make them in the microwave.
Fave baked potato recipes:
- Tuna + Cheese (canned tuna mashed with chopped onion, hot sauce, and mayo) top with cheese
- Taco --- all the taco fixings or just black beans pan fried with taco seasoning, salsa and cheese
- fried mushrooms and onions w sour cream and steak (fancy)
- Regular baked potato toppings (sour cream, bacon, chives, cheese, etc)
- I hear baked beans and cheese is also good??? will try
- Spaghetti sauce, ground beef and cheese
Jan 28, 2025
I was isolated growing up.
Isolated in the regular run-of-the-mill homeschooled way. Growing up in rural Canada where everything is a minimum of a 30 minute drive away. Groceries, entertainment, activites, friends - and nothing in between but wheat and sloughs and cows.
Born to people who were not only the youngest child in each of their families, deeply introverted, and whose external social situations also put them in the way of easy ridicule.
It was the sixties, man.
My experience of the world for the first 18 years of my life was through my mother's eyes, primarily. My beliefs were filtered through her opinions, and my actions were dictated by her whims.
On top of that when I was 13 my family moved overseas to facilitate my dad's job. Moved, not to a town, or a an expat compound... but to a vacation village, which we inhabited September - May until I was 18.
We went back to Canada in the summers, dooming me to a cycle of social deprivation and catchup, never getting ahead or making meaningful connections.
None of this is stuff I really tell anyone, anymore. At 26 it's all far enough away that it doesn't come up in my current self synopsis when meeting new friends.
As my world expands, and I meet and love more and more people I'm so aware of how the more people that you meet and interact with the more you have a sense of your own place in the world.
Every time I have a new romance I learn what love is out there for me. Each new experience changes my views on past experiences. What I like and what I don't. The kind of love I can accept, how I want to be treated.
Every time I make a new friend I learn that there really are all kinds of people in the world, and that growing up it's not that there was something wrong with me, it's just that I didn't necessarily vibe with the 10 people I interacted with.
Nov 15, 2024