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I was at a friendâs show the other night and they covered this song, which I thought existed only for me in a very specific context on a five-year-old playlist for the J train near my old apartment. Hearing it live, seemingly out of nowhere when I least expected it, turned my brain inside out. The repeated riff scratches an itch inside of there, particularly with that little bent note. I think I sometimes come off as a Dean Wareham project, if someone were to compare me to a sound. I hope itâs this one.
Jun 25, 2024
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The story behind my relationship with this song is probably not all that interesting⊠but discovering it was a real cathartic experience for me. I first heard this song when I went to see The Caretaker perform live at the Lincoln Center and I think he performed a chopped up version of it⊠I knew I recognized the melody from somewhere, but I was too timid to pull out my phone and Shazam it mid-show. Weeks go by, Iâm still thinking about what that damn song was⊠I surf through The Caretakerâs discography. Nothing! I start sending voice memos to my musically inclined friends, humming how the melody went⊠nothing! Was I making up the existence of this song? Was I going insane? I saw Jon Rafmanâs amazing short âPunctured Skyâ where this exact thing happens to his protagonist (obsessing over a video game that he thought existed but no one could help him find it)... it had my number written all over it. I gave up and moved on with my life. But then, about a week or so ago, I was listening to Helena Delandâs new album while doing the dishes and I heard it again⊠a familiar melody⊠briefly interpolated on the song âDrawbridge.â But what was it?! No comments on YouTube helped get to the bottom of this musical mystery.  I sent it around frantically to all my friends. Ari Balouzian, who does the scores for my films, is a massive Midnight Cowboy fan and was able to identify it after a bit of trial and error. He sent me the Santo & Johnny cover (amazing in its own right)... and finally, after searching around on YouTube⊠I found it! A haunting piece of music, and the recording itself sounds so⊠brittle⊠that it almost adds an extra oomph to the aural sensation of bliss when you listen to it.
Jun 12, 2024
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example // in sufjan stevensâ itâs your own body and mind off of a beginners mind,(the formatting choices here are completely arbitrary) he angelically sings:
sheâs gotta have it
sheâs gotta dream
(sheâs got a dream)
and she'll make it a habit
of doing her own thing
as so graciously told to me by genius, (this link does not redirect to anything I simply like to imagine it looks fitting) this song is based off of spike leeâs sheâs gotta have it, and is an ode to self actualization, autonomy, and love.
HOWEVER, when I heard this song it became:
sheâs god of heaven
sheâs gotta dream
(sheâs got a dream)
and sheâll make it of heaven
as so woefully malformed by my brain,
the song became a tale of a woman who is âgod of heaven.â I derived that sufjan had put a woman on the pedestal of all pedestals claiming her a god of heaven aka: God,(for those who practice)â(sidenote: what are you practicing)â(double sidenote: this is a joke) or even surpassing God. I figured that i was listening to a song about infatuation and rose-tinted perspective, much similar to his song impossible soul off of the age of adz (i could write pages upon pages about this 25 minute long masterpiece and the cover of the album talking to me while on mushrooms but alasâŠseek ye treasure (pirate reference)) in which he sings âwoman tell me what you wantâ and âyou are the lover of my impossible soul.â so sue me for thinking lover boy stevens was back at it.
i do think there is a beauty in misunderstanding lyrics that can show you what is at the forefront of your brain without you even realizing. when listening to the song i was thinking of my girlfriend, (god of heaven. obviously.) and my brain jumped to connect that dot. i find that this happens very often and it usually suggests something more interesting and provocative than a simple yanny and/or laurel mishap (green needle for my enthusiasts). if you have any similar experiences do feel free to share!
May 15, 2025
Nobody knows how to end an album on a particularly wistful note like my pal Britt Daniel. âVittorio Eâ is like the first of many such closers. đ
Apr 1, 2024
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âLingerâ and âDead Flowersâ are the almost the same song, to me. Perfect album I feel dumb for always forgetting about and then itâs just about the only thing on.
May 24, 2024
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Some of his best music is a soundtrack to a documentary about the emotional life of plants. I listen to âSend One Your Loveâ most mornings, and then again in the evenings, but maybe just the instrumental version, as a kind of daily ritual bookend for my emotional life as a plant.
May 8, 2024
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goes unbelievably hard
Jul 6, 2024