so, i think that the polar opposite of perfectionism is shitism: where u actually want to do a task badly. u intentionally fuck it up and if u don't fuck it up, something feels inexplicably off. i know this because i often find myself locked in a shitism spiral/cycle.
i am someone who is either all in or not
i dont like to half ass stuff because
1- i was taught that half ass-ing anything was a waste of my own and everyone else's time and time is something that should be valued
2- im just not someone who half asses anything by nature
i am someone who puts their heart and soul into something and i wont stop until it is perfect
not to someone else but to me
so if i know i can do better i will always at least will TRY to do so
but this is low key so fucking debilitating
in my quest to make perfection i am quite literally chaining myself
its all a balancing act that i always struggle to keep up with and maintain
taking small actions before, alongside, or in place of a (perceived) desired end goal in life. Basic CBT technique, best with a dash of ego death and low stakes to build the muscle memory and avoid toxic positivity backwash.
a beautiful sexy exciting suspensful hell yeah of a movie. campy and high brow if you're of the epicurean pursasion or within that idealogical vicinity when it comes to movies. it makes a lot of heavyhanded stylized assertions which are good and cool, but it balances out with the subtly genius writing and tender sapphic love story.
