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There is a lot of really good advice and input in the other responses, but I just wanted to let you know that about a year ago I broke up and stopped talking to the person I was dating for over 8 years. I didnāt realize how much I didnāt know about myself. In that time Iāve picked up a few art classes, fitness classes, and some of those I hated. Every time I was sad that I wanted to do [insert any thing or activity] but I didnāt have someone to do it with, I would go do it alone.
This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and thatās okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking ādo I exist if I donāt have a person to tell xyz to??ā Like yes girl ofc you do!!!!
Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and Iām so excited to hear about how Youāre doing with it all.
This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and thatās okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking ādo I exist if I donāt have a person to tell xyz to??ā Like yes girl ofc you do!!!!
Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and Iām so excited to hear about how Youāre doing with it all.
Jun 18, 2024
Related Recs
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šŖThis time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship thatās ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now Iām 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again
Some of the (many) things that worked for me: - Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iām not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youāre ready, itās possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever. - On a related note, therapy was very needed! - Start a new, group hobby where youāll see the same people each week. Not that youāll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itās exciting to have something new in your life that isnāt tied to success on a dating app. - Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnāt yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youāll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ā¤ļø
Some of the (many) things that worked for me: - Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (Iām not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think youāre ready, itās possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever. - On a related note, therapy was very needed! - Start a new, group hobby where youāll see the same people each week. Not that youāll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and itās exciting to have something new in your life that isnāt tied to success on a dating app. - Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isnāt yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you youāll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it).
Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ā¤ļø
Apr 1, 2024
Rec
šŖI did all the things I had put off when I focused all my time and effort on this person I loved. So I finally got accessed and started meeting with a psychiatrist. Started prioritizing myself and my mental health above everything and it helps so much in the long run.
After that I realized I had all the time in the world to have fun and go out and get on dating apps. I made a silly profile. I went on dates with all sorts of people and it reminded me that I was someone who could be admired and loved. Eventually met my current partner through these apps and I havenāt thought of my ex since.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this right now but I know youāll get through it! ā¤ļø
After that I realized I had all the time in the world to have fun and go out and get on dating apps. I made a silly profile. I went on dates with all sorts of people and it reminded me that I was someone who could be admired and loved. Eventually met my current partner through these apps and I havenāt thought of my ex since.
Iām so sorry youāre going through this right now but I know youāll get through it! ā¤ļø
Jun 9, 2025
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šThroughout my past relationships Iāve noticed a pattern where I tend to lose myself. Whether it be to āfitā my partner better or simply just neglecting the things that make me, me, for a period whilst in a relationship. In my time sharing this experience with others, Iāve found that many often relate. I believe that the best thing you can do after a breakup is to become fully in touch with yourself again. My personal outlet happens to be writing, putting all those feelings down pen to paper has been one of the most cathartic things I can do after a breakup. Whether Iām spinning those words into a poem, a story or just a garbled mess of words on a page, Iāve found it really helps. So really, whatever your creative outlet is, dive deeper into that and it will almost always ease the pain.
Jul 16, 2025
Top Recs from @lyssdri
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šŗYeah severance is the best tv show on right now and I will watch it and discuss the nuances and the shots and coloring and the writing!! like Thatās art, thatās critiquing culture, thatās bringing something new to the table
I will ALSO sit my ass down with wine and popcorn and watch the new love is blind episodes(and love island this summer!!!) because tv can also serve the purpose of shutting my brain O-F-F !!
I will ALSO sit my ass down with wine and popcorn and watch the new love is blind episodes(and love island this summer!!!) because tv can also serve the purpose of shutting my brain O-F-F !!
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š«You can always redownload it. If I keep opening Pinterest during work, just delete it for a while!! I can download it again.
Also we all know I mean Twitter and that I canāt go on it bc it will depress me .
Also we all know I mean Twitter and that I canāt go on it bc it will depress me .
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šI like working out and when I leave a workout class and I feel sore and then I take an epsom salt bath and I get in bed and my body just feels like YEAH you USED ME TODAY YAY. I love that.