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I went to a funeral today. My artist godfather had painted the entire coffin of his wife, vibrantly, with hearts and birds and colours. The thought of him painting it, the expression of his love to his partner of 33 years, using the same motifs he used to paint their wedding altar, it makes me want to think of ways to show love, to mark it. Both while my loved ones are still living, and to honour those now gone. How do we honour our love? Dedicate time to it? Make our grief a beautiful masterpiece of love?
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We all go one day. I lost my beloved dog today, years too early. This is going to be incoherent as I am miles away from earth but I just want to put this out there.
I let him sleep on the couch, I went to his favorite spot with him whenever I could, I scratched every part of his body when he wanted me to. Because I loved him.
I have no regrets. Today is a nightmare but I have no guilt because there was nothing but love. And so I tell you to be loving and gentle and loud about it. We are here briefly and we can only do so much. Tell your friends they're great, tell a stranger you like their shirt, tell the world you love that there is love all around.
I think you (yes, you) are beautiful and brave and inspiring. And I believe in you
Let someone know how much you care. Life can be so pretty.
2d ago
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My nana died recently and the funeral was probably the best day out of a terrible few weeks
I enjoyed the (sometimes farcical) performance of the Catholic ceremony, which was so disconnected from her life and personhood that you kind of had to laugh (i did this inwardly only). The priest got my granddad’s name wrong in the reading and half-sang along to the hymns as he performed the rites, the way you do when you’re listening to music while pottering about the house
I talked with family I hadn’t seen in years, or had seen and pretty much ignored because it felt easier at the time
I enjoyed noticing how there are maybe two different kinds of nose and mouth distributed among the cousins (myself included), except one girl I was convinced was a relative on the strength of her appearance turned out not to be, so maybe I was just looking for shared qualities where there aren’t any. I don’t think that is a bad thing though
Nov 4, 2024
my mom passed away last year, and today would have been her 54th birthday
so, i grabbed ice cream and i took it to the river. my mom and i used to get ice cream and eat it by the river a lot. my mom loved ice cream. chocolate ice cream. and she loved rivers. i also love rivers. they remind me of my mom.
grieving is hard. and it’s hard every single day. but taking moments like this — to do things that my mom and i loved to do together — reminds me of how grief is just love with nowhere to go.
today i’m basking in the love that my mom had for me, the love she had for ice cream, for rivers. and i’m sitting in how much i love her. a love that feels trapped inside me. buried. most days it feels like anger and despair and regret. but today i’m focusing on the love. how lucky i was to have a mom who made loving her so easy!
happy birthday, mom. i love you immensely
Feb 7, 2025
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2d ago
I used to be envious of people who had “MySpace friends” or “tumblr friends”. Now I have PI.FYI friends. Thank you capyboppy for your lovely letter and this illustration of a capybara and a mouse with fruit on our heads, it made me weirdly emotional ❤️
Jun 11, 2024
Apr 5, 2024