i think everything will start over maybe with a twist i dont think anything really ends its always moving from one state to another everything gets transmuted so when this current world ends a new one will begin i dont know what it will be like but i hope its just as or more exciting as this one is rn
Jun 14, 2024

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I think about after the end a lot. I wrote a screenplay about after the apocalypse and the earth is devolving back into primordial stew. I love the idea of destroying the world so thuroughly with science that magic emerges again. I also think often of the end of what we understand as the universe. I wrote a piece of flash fiction about the moment before the last bit of energy is snuffed out, and a short script about life orbiting around the last light in the universe that I think has legs to be a feature. I don't know what happens after. But I choose to believe all death births something new.
Jun 14, 2024
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some evolutionary niche opened up around 300,000 years ago allowing a select group of primates to adapt larger brains in exchange for larger muscle mass and other such traits. it was an astounding success leading to that group of primates to become the most dominant species on the planet. but maybe it came with a price. a price larger than simply larger muscles or better smell. the brains became so advanced and computable that they were able to question their animalistic nature itself. the purpose of all life is that of a divine ring. the days pass in the same cycle as the seasons, such in the same cycle as the years. death and rebirth. that’s truly the meaning of life. to live, then die. in the primal sense of other living things, that’s simply the way of the world, there’s no need to question, as if the rest of the myriad creatures on earth have the capacity to question it. but our brains adapted past that. we developed a certain "post natural" mode of thought. somehow we pushed past the simple cycles of the universe. we have the innate drive of death and rebirth, looking to reproduce and spread. but we became to adept. we lost track of where to end. we fight wars over what we think is the meaning to it all. we harbour money and material wealth to spread influence over others. we created new meanings for ourselves. created goals and endings for when we’d be "complete". we conquered the world looking for one of those answers. those in power incessantly use their power to find their answer. those without try to keep up. we’ve searched and dug up every inch of the planet we were born on in search of our answer, and now, as we’ve desecrated our planet and realized our grand goal for an answer isn’t here, we’ve decided to look beyond our planet. maybe the next one will have our answer. and the next one. and the next one. and the next one. it’s always been the same cycle of desecration, disappointment, and moving on to the next one. the answer isn’t hidden among the stars, or under the ocean, or in the next country over, or in the harboring of trillions of dollars, or in the ultimate manifestation of power. it’s in the orginal cycle of death and rebirth. the experience of life granted to us through the seemingly divine gift of "consciousness". we are notably different from the myriad of earthly creatures, but not in a way that should matter. all that changed were some environmental conditions that allowed our primate ancestors to adapt larger brains. our purpose never shifted. our purpose on earth is to live and experience, then to die, allowing the circle to repeat. it’s no different from any other life form. 
Mar 3, 2025
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Exhausted, enthralled, ecstatic, this has no end, change again and again and again
Feb 27, 2025

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using A.I. for art instead of using it to fix problems such as poverty, climate change etc is fucking weird art is a way people cope with human existence and express feelings as well as share and pass down culture why tf is A.I. in the mix its weird to me
Jun 2, 2024
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i like to wear lipstick on my upper lip but not the bottom its v rare when i do i been doing this since HS honestly and i love it
Jun 19, 2024
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TW: drugs and psychosis i was in active addiction 4 years ago and was going on a 4 day streak of a bender where i decided to go to a party do meth (ik) and drink and smoke (more) weed i was so out of it that when i had to leave (never drive UTI) it looked like i was driving through a forest under water when i got back to my friends place her mom said their family cat (who was v old) was dying and she wanted us to say good to him when i looked at the cat it looked like it was turned inside out and its inside were rotting i felt sick to my stomach and hid in her room where i began to question everything what i had seen, what i was doing, and finally who i was and if the thoughts i had were mine or someone else's- it was a lot it was from there i kinda realized there was more and now im here sober and a changed woman the end
Jul 5, 2024