for myself, TRYING to have fun basically prevents it from happening because then i have these expectations that iâm constantly comparing my current experience to and it takes me out the present. i think you gotta appreciate the good moments when they arise and at the same time, accept that the whole day isnât going to be one huge euphoric experience
when it comes to solo activities, i would recommend just doing the things you enjoy doing on a day to day basis but spice them up a little- i.e. try a different cafe, take a new route, hang out at a park you havenât been to before, etc. This helps make the day more memorable and can offer something fun and unexpected
finally i think spontaneity is key! follow whatever youâre feeling in the moment, whether itâs getting yourself a little treat from the corner store, calling a friend, going to see a movie, making a quick playlist that perfectly fits how youâre feeling, etc.
Jun 2, 2024
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hey!
I spent numerous of my birthdays alone, so here's what worked for me
1. make a playlist of your favourite songs. literally every song you ever liked from when you were 10 to now.
2. go to your favourite place, but if you don't have one then just go to a park or a museum. I love people watching while listening to music.
3. book a spa day. that one I haven't tried but sounds fun. spa is better in solitude anyway.
4. eat your favourite food. honestly a game changer lol food is the most amazing thing we as species have created.
5. do something you enjoyed as a kid. painting, blowing bubbles, making sand castles. it makes you feel so good, like you're reconnecting with something that's been asleep deep inside you.
6. if you're not scared to talk to strangers then talk with someone you don't know. at a pub or in a line. could be fun.
happy early birthday!
May 17, 2024
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows CafĂŠ + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
manifesto forthcoming.
i hear time and time again - âiâm not a birthday person.â as a convert, iâm here to challenge that limiting belief.
not unlike new yearâs eve, getting your hopes up for a single night is futile. thus, i have the following advice:
-embrace birthday weekÂ
  month is a little much, even for me, but allow the week to be birthday-centric. this doesnât have to be sunday to sunday; it can  consist of any of the surrounding days that feel relevant to THE day
-multiple experiences
  much like new yearâs eve, hanging your hat on one night is doomed. thus, i recommend that you implement ALL (not some) of the following:
INTIMATE DINNER
+with partner, family, a couple of friends. something that feels low key and non stressful. great for a thursday or sunday night. let them know ahead of time (if they need reminding) that you would like a candle of some sort on a house dessert (is this too bossy?? NO! youâd do the same for the ones you love. next). (i also get desserts with candles the whole month, unabashedly. and do the same for loved ones.)
SOLO DAY
+plan things for yourself: solo lunch, matinee, massage. buy a fancy latte. take a cab. spare no expense; today you turn off the switch in your head that wonders if itâs worth it because it is.
FRIEND DAY
+have people over, meet at a bar, or throw a full on party. this is group time. i honestly recommend doing this one last. youâll likely have enough fun with the other two events that this will feel like a cherry on top. ask your type A friend to help plan, if you need help, and remind them again ab some sort of treat w canes. this doesnât have to be a blowout! tell everyone to bring whomever, +1s, enemies as itâs more-the-merrier vibes.
tl;dr everyone deserves to be celebrated and there are people in your life eager to help you make it happen. ask for what you want. do the same for them down the line â¤ď¸
ps my birthday is 3/17 if you need to start preparing
pps bonus tip - pic is of last yearâs birthday outfit. i also like to throw a very easy mini theme to get people thinking ahead of time (i said to wear silk, leather, or mesh. everybody looked hot)
ppps i have so much more to say ab this, lmk if you want moreÂ
Feb 3, 2024
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someone has to
Dec 20, 2024
Aug 5, 2024
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setting ur lockscreen wallpaper to rotate through a bunch of pre-selected photos but making one of them a nude and you never know when itâs gonna show up. just to keep things exciting
Apr 25, 2024