May 31, 2024
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Feeling scared.
Iām scared of Whole Foods. Iām scared of claustrophobia and of wide open spaces. Iām scared of kneeling on the floor, scared of bleeding and of bruises. Iām scared of research and of door latches and locksmiths and their drills. Iām scared of all the days of the week except for Thursday. At least I used to be before Thursday came and smiled and showed me her claws too. Iām scared of islands and of mountains and of soft sand beaches. Iām scared of trails and of highways and homesteads and high rises. Iām scared of plastic and of metal and shoepolish and crayola tempura paint. Iām scared of sugar and of lemons and plates that spark in the microwave. We used to eat off of Elvisās face, serve salad on The Kiss, used to kiss on the couch but Iām scared of that too now. Iām scared of factories and farms, greenhouses and your little fire escape. Scared of pencils and switchblades and feather boas, feather dusters. I never knew I was allergic to dust until a week ago when they took my blood and spun it twelve times fast.
Feb 4, 2025
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they know
Jun 26, 2024
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because I simply know too much. But I do also fear that faeries will entice me into their world and Iāll forget that I shouldnāt eat their food because it looks so good and then Iāll become trapped there forever.
In my first appointment with my beloved former therapist I told her I donāt like to keep a diary because what if my work is published posthumously against my will like Emily Dickinson or Franz Kafka and she went āhmm imagined audienceā as she scribbled notes.
Every time I feel an unfamiliar sensation in my body I have to talk myself down from thinking Iām dying but Iāve gotten pretty skilled at beating that one back.
Iām still pretty afraid of ovens to this day after seeing my mom light her hair on fire while pulling a turkey outāTWICE!
Apr 23, 2024
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May 31, 2025
In Tarot, The Fool is the first card in the Major Arcana, which represents the life cycle.Ā These cycles we are continuously going through in our lives, not just once.Ā The final card of the Major Arcana is The World (which I have tattooed very large on my thigh), which signifies the completion of a cycle and natural ascension into the next.Ā We are then thrust back into the Fool, with a bit more wisdom.
The Fool as an archetype is one of joy, curiosity, spontaneity, and trust.Ā The Fool is pure of heart, knowing that the Universe has got their back.Ā This innate trust allows The Fool to be playful, to take risks, and truly believe everything will work out.Ā The more we go through life and experience loss, grief, heartache, trauma, the harder it becomes to embrace this energy.Ā Iāve found that as healing goes on, just as itās shown in tarot, we return to this natural state of being.Ā We start off as The Fool when we are wee little babies, and if we are lucky can return there a few cycles at a time, with more wisdom gained each time.Ā Ā
The goal of The Fool is to have positive experiences, maybe for fun, maybe to grow.Ā There is an acceptance with The Fool, a kind of āthis is what is, how can I make this work well for me?ā Everything works out for The Fool because they donāt know it canāt. Anything we go through in life, we can use to grow.Ā I personally believe we all could benefit embracing the archetypal energy of The Fool a bit more.Ā The Fool doesnāt stop to worry what other people will think!Ā The Fool does not fret about what ifās!Ā The Fool is in the moment!
6d ago
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Humans have always danced. It is part of who we are, yet we have been conditioned to be self conscious, to think that we do not move our bodies good enough. Dancing is beyond judgement. Dancing is not a skill, it is our soul moving through our bodies, expressed in movement. Dancing is healing. Dancing is bodily autonomy. Dancing is FUN! Any feeling you are feeling can be moved through with dance yet even alone, you fear looking foolish. Kill the judge in your mind, shut the fuck up, and MOVE š
Apr 24, 2025