When I was like four, my aunt asked me what I wanted to be when I was older. Not understanding the question, at least not on her terms, I answered “penguin.” Here is a penguin I got to meet personally a couple years ago:
1. Eat 2 tablespoons of peanut butter.
2. Smile at families with wealthy fathers.
3. Swipe toilet paper from restaurants.
4. Befriend bereaved old ladies.
5. Sleep in the library for 30 mins
Forgive the last person who bumped into you
And forgive me
Otherwise I’ll hide behind the lamppost where we first met
I’ll sneak up on you
Tickle you from behind
And make you cry and laugh
