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this may not be the advice you want to hear

but I fear that maybe you should not be trying to lose weight as a goal itself. Maybe you could shift your goal instead to something achievable and concrete that will help set healthy habits but won’t leave you dwelling on your weight? I like trying to be strong enough to do a thing I presently cannot do. (I can do push ups now, baybeee!!) I have been working on healing my relationship to food and my body for over 10 years now and I still cannot healthily set a weight loss goal. My strategy is to literally never think about my weight, eat whatever I want, move my body every day, and cook at home often. I’m stronger, happier, and healthier than I have ever been in my life and all I have sacrificed is a little negative self talk (n I don’t miss her at all). Godspeed, good luck, wishing you health and happiness and wholeness !!!

@cilantro

Jul 10, 2024

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starving doesn't work: logic based approach

your hair falls out. your teeth get yellow and fucked up. your nails weaken and get ugly. you get super cold all the time. your energy gets so low that everyday tasks become extremely difficult. and you gain all the weight back anyway and then it's ten times harder to lose because you fucked over your metabolism or you die. i'm speaking from experience. i have starved and i have done crazy shit and i always just gained all of it back. and when i was starving i was so miserable and it just doesn't work long term. that is harsh but the truth. i'm not going to tell you to not care about the way you look. because everyone cares about that. but the number on the scale is literally irrelevant. you can have two ppl w the exact same weight that look completely different. you yourself can be the same exact weight at different times and look totally different due to muscle/fat ratio. since you say you've let go of the emotional i'm going to keep this advice strictly logical. when you starve yourself, you trick your body into thinking its in survival mode and then it holds onto fat and lowers your metabolism. you get pushed in a cyclical nature of losing weight and gaining it all back and it gets harder and harder. it doesn't work, has never worked, and just makes you ugly and sad. the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to stop being scared of calories and instead eat the right ones and the right amount. if you want to fix your metabolism you have to understand calories as a fuel source not as something to be deducted. calories are simply energy. in order to limit your hunger and build muscle, you need enough energy from the right sources. you need a good combination of protein, fiber, and carbs. you don't need to be perfect lol like i personally dont measure shit bc it's overwhelming and too much work, so just prioritize protein and try to fit in fiber and carbs here and there. the reason i say to prioritize protein is because that's what builds muscle. building muscle is important even if you don't care about working out because muscle burns fat. when you have more muscle, your metabolism increases and you can eat more because the muscle literally burns the fat and needs more energy (calories). fiber is important for many health reasons: cholesterol, heart health, bowel movements etc. but since you're still in an ED mindset, the biggest thing for you is that it keeps you full. foods that are high in fiber keep you full for a very very long time. so you can stay in a reasonable caloric deficit without feeling extremely hungry. carbs. carbs are not your enemy at all. carbs are the body's main fuel source. they give you quick ready to use energy. it also prevents the proteins in your body from being used for energy. so when the body is looking for energy, instead of breaking down the proteins that you want to keep to build muscle the body will use the carbs instead. energy is important because it's what you can use to exercise and live your life. so, prioritize protein and have a mix of the other two. i think calorie counting can be very triggering and it's easy to get really restrictive with it. so what i did was i had a protein goal (calculated based off my weight) and a fiber goal. i also drink a lot of water and just tried to eat smaller portions. my main issue was i hate food waste and feel a lot of guilt about it. so it's better for me to just start with a smaller plate and add more if im hungry. speaking of hunger, this next step is essential. listen to your hunger. do NOT ignore it. if you are hungry, eat. if you are not, don't. that was the hardest thing for me to do because i always took being hungry as a sign of being skinny. but it completely fucked up my hunger signals and made everything way more difficult. when you are hungry, eat something but just be intentional about what you eat. eat something high in fiber or high in protein. it will tell your body that you aren't in starvation mode and that it is okay to let go of fat. protein bars, yogurts, and fruits are amazing for this. if you continue to not eat when you're hungry then you're fucked. you also don't want to over eat. sometimes when i was stressed or bored, i knew i wasn't hungry but i ate anyway and just made sure to eat something super low calorie. thats a Mistake. because now my body thinks i needed more food and is going to adjust accordingly. so please, this is the way to healing your relationship with food and understanding that you aren't fighting against your body you need to work WITH it. next essential step: trust the process. you have to learn patience and find love in discipline. if you eat the right kinds of foods, listen to your hunger and move your body regularly (literally just walking is so good for weight loss) you Will lose weight. there is so much love in taking care of yourself. there is so much warmth in the discipline of deciding to be good to yourself. you have to get used to slow results because you need to fall in love with the process in order to keep it sustainable. fall in love with the process and the results will come. please trust that. it's what changed my life and how i lost 15 pounds and kept it off after 4 years of back and forth disordered eating losing weight and gaining it back. you also need to remember that your body's purpose isn't to fit a specific standard it's to literally keep you alive. your body is doing it's best every day to keep you alive. once you understand that and feel true gratitude for that, you will really love the process of working with your body. i have lots of emotional advice i can give but the main logical takeaways: - starving doesnt work - stop being scared of calories - protein, fiber, carbs - listen to your hunger cues - trust the process - patience and love is everything. specifics: proteins: meats, tofu, eggs, greek yogurt, lentils, almonds, cottage cheese, black beans, broccoli, cauliflower fiber: avocado, oats, raspberries, artichoke, pears, apples, strawberries, kiwis etc. othe grains too carbs: bread, pasta, rice, lentils, chickpeas, etc. let me know if you have any specific questions. sending you all my love, i know this is a difficult thing to get through. sending you love and care and patience and strength 💓

@katialisa

Jul 11, 2024

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Trying to be healthy but not killing yourself over it

I try to be diligent with my groceries (good protein & veg, no seed oils or added sugar) but there's no point in ruining restaurant dinners out with friends by hemming and hawing over all the toxins you are (most likely) consuming. 80/20 rule is god.

@juliahackney

Jan 17, 2024

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Starting over

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” — Anaïs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌

@taterhole

Mar 16, 2025

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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Finally Quitting the job that you hate

Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅

@taterhole

Feb 27, 2025

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