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this may not be the advice you want to hear

but I fear that maybe you should not be trying to lose weight as a goal itself. Maybe you could shift your goal instead to something achievable and concrete that will help set healthy habits but won’t leave you dwelling on your weight? I like trying to be strong enough to do a thing I presently cannot do. (I can do push ups now, baybeee!!) I have been working on healing my relationship to food and my body for over 10 years now and I still cannot healthily set a weight loss goal. My strategy is to literally never think about my weight, eat whatever I want, move my body every day, and cook at home often. I’m stronger, happier, and healthier than I have ever been in my life and all I have sacrificed is a little negative self talk (n I don’t miss her at all). Godspeed, good luck, wishing you health and happiness and wholeness !!!

@cilantro

Jul 10, 2024

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starving doesn't work: logic based approach

your hair falls out. your teeth get yellow and fucked up. your nails weaken and get ugly. you get super cold all the time. your energy gets so low that everyday tasks become extremely difficult. and you gain all the weight back anyway and then it's ten times harder to lose because you fucked over your metabolism or you die. i'm speaking from experience. i have starved and i have done crazy shit and i always just gained all of it back. and when i was starving i was so miserable and it just doesn't work long term. that is harsh but the truth. i'm not going to tell you to not care about the way you look. because everyone cares about that. but the number on the scale is literally irrelevant. you can have two ppl w the exact same weight that look completely different. you yourself can be the same exact weight at different times and look totally different due to muscle/fat ratio. since you say you've let go of the emotional i'm going to keep this advice strictly logical. when you starve yourself, you trick your body into thinking its in survival mode and then it holds onto fat and lowers your metabolism. you get pushed in a cyclical nature of losing weight and gaining it all back and it gets harder and harder. it doesn't work, has never worked, and just makes you ugly and sad. the only way to lose weight and keep it off is to stop being scared of calories and instead eat the right ones and the right amount. if you want to fix your metabolism you have to understand calories as a fuel source not as something to be deducted. calories are simply energy. in order to limit your hunger and build muscle, you need enough energy from the right sources. you need a good combination of protein, fiber, and carbs. you don't need to be perfect lol like i personally dont measure shit bc it's overwhelming and too much work, so just prioritize protein and try to fit in fiber and carbs here and there. the reason i say to prioritize protein is because that's what builds muscle. building muscle is important even if you don't care about working out because muscle burns fat. when you have more muscle, your metabolism increases and you can eat more because the muscle literally burns the fat and needs more energy (calories). fiber is important for many health reasons: cholesterol, heart health, bowel movements etc. but since you're still in an ED mindset, the biggest thing for you is that it keeps you full. foods that are high in fiber keep you full for a very very long time. so you can stay in a reasonable caloric deficit without feeling extremely hungry. carbs. carbs are not your enemy at all. carbs are the body's main fuel source. they give you quick ready to use energy. it also prevents the proteins in your body from being used for energy. so when the body is looking for energy, instead of breaking down the proteins that you want to keep to build muscle the body will use the carbs instead. energy is important because it's what you can use to exercise and live your life. so, prioritize protein and have a mix of the other two. i think calorie counting can be very triggering and it's easy to get really restrictive with it. so what i did was i had a protein goal (calculated based off my weight) and a fiber goal. i also drink a lot of water and just tried to eat smaller portions. my main issue was i hate food waste and feel a lot of guilt about it. so it's better for me to just start with a smaller plate and add more if im hungry. speaking of hunger, this next step is essential. listen to your hunger. do NOT ignore it. if you are hungry, eat. if you are not, don't. that was the hardest thing for me to do because i always took being hungry as a sign of being skinny. but it completely fucked up my hunger signals and made everything way more difficult. when you are hungry, eat something but just be intentional about what you eat. eat something high in fiber or high in protein. it will tell your body that you aren't in starvation mode and that it is okay to let go of fat. protein bars, yogurts, and fruits are amazing for this. if you continue to not eat when you're hungry then you're fucked. you also don't want to over eat. sometimes when i was stressed or bored, i knew i wasn't hungry but i ate anyway and just made sure to eat something super low calorie. thats a Mistake. because now my body thinks i needed more food and is going to adjust accordingly. so please, this is the way to healing your relationship with food and understanding that you aren't fighting against your body you need to work WITH it. next essential step: trust the process. you have to learn patience and find love in discipline. if you eat the right kinds of foods, listen to your hunger and move your body regularly (literally just walking is so good for weight loss) you Will lose weight. there is so much love in taking care of yourself. there is so much warmth in the discipline of deciding to be good to yourself. you have to get used to slow results because you need to fall in love with the process in order to keep it sustainable. fall in love with the process and the results will come. please trust that. it's what changed my life and how i lost 15 pounds and kept it off after 4 years of back and forth disordered eating losing weight and gaining it back. you also need to remember that your body's purpose isn't to fit a specific standard it's to literally keep you alive. your body is doing it's best every day to keep you alive. once you understand that and feel true gratitude for that, you will really love the process of working with your body. i have lots of emotional advice i can give but the main logical takeaways: - starving doesnt work - stop being scared of calories - protein, fiber, carbs - listen to your hunger cues - trust the process - patience and love is everything. specifics: proteins: meats, tofu, eggs, greek yogurt, lentils, almonds, cottage cheese, black beans, broccoli, cauliflower fiber: avocado, oats, raspberries, artichoke, pears, apples, strawberries, kiwis etc. othe grains too carbs: bread, pasta, rice, lentils, chickpeas, etc. let me know if you have any specific questions. sending you all my love, i know this is a difficult thing to get through. sending you love and care and patience and strength 💓

@katialisa

Jul 11, 2024

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Trying to be healthy but not killing yourself over it

I try to be diligent with my groceries (good protein & veg, no seed oils or added sugar) but there's no point in ruining restaurant dinners out with friends by hemming and hawing over all the toxins you are (most likely) consuming. 80/20 rule is god.

@juliahackney

Jan 17, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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SURFING THE TIDES OF THE EVERYONE TAB

I am a woman of the people

@taterhole

May 28, 2025

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Rejecting the Commodification of the Self

I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.

@taterhole

Dec 27, 2024