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UNDERSTANDING THAT THE LOVE REQUIRES LOSS.

i have learned that, felt in its deepest moments—love exists loudest when we give it permission to evade us. within that evasion, an admiration, an appreciation—a feeling of true, honest, vulnerable, raw love—emerges. maybe this is why we love people the most when we are separated. maybe that’s why we love those most in a moment of grief. maybe that’s why we love our children and inner child the most when they grow up. but when we prevent it—when we prevent ourselves from loss we not only prevent ourselves from finding love but from love finding us. just some thoughts

@ncgreen

May 26, 2025

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uncertainty

love is beautiful. love is pure. love is enduring. i’m not sure if my standards for love are too high, but i worry i don’t mean it. i’d change my character, overcome weaknesses for those i say it to, yet it never feels like enough. i want to embrace someone not only through touch, but through the warmth of my actions and presence. love knows no bounds. i want to break every single wall a person can put up. still, i know there are limits to love. love is undefined—it is not a singular, universal concept for every person. i fear i can never truly portray my love for another without everything crashing down, whether due to the walls we’ve built to shield ourselves from the world or to passing circumstances. maybe i’m not concerned about my feelings for others. maybe the words “i love you” don’t quite serve me justice. still, from this new perspective, it’s an affectionate, enkindling acknowledgement to give another—akin to kissing your loved one on the cheek each morning before leaving for work. love: a word that can be used for anyone, whether platonically or romantically. we really should say these words shamelessly to those around us every day. it’s a marvel to think over what true love means to you and how it can vary from person to person. i think this is what makes it beautiful. your idea of love will fit into another’s idea of love. i hope everyone who reads this is lucky enough to find that person they mesh together with.^^

@intricatelysewn

Mar 9, 2025

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letting people love you the way they want to

Sometimes I get caught up chasing ideals of love. Growing up with immigrant parents in the US, I wished my parents showed me love the way my friends' parents did. My parents seemed cold in comparison to the affection I saw my friends receiving. I fell for best friends who did love me but never enough and never in the ways I wanted them to. Nowadays I have grown to appreciate the ways in which my parents do show me love -- when they ask if I've eaten or when I dye my mom's hair as she peels me oranges. Friendship to me no longer needs to be tied up in such rigid binaries. It's not the label of a relationship I'm after but rather just the intimacy of knowing other people. I try not to focus so much on how I wish to be loved by other people and instead pay attention to all the different ways I am loved. Acting with a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And in that way, everything feels enough. Disclaimer: Establishing boundaries is paramount. Love that is corrosive or manipulative is not love.

@ave

Feb 1, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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SURFING THE TIDES OF THE EVERYONE TAB

I am a woman of the people

@taterhole

May 28, 2025

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Rejecting the Commodification of the Self

I’ve been thinking about how much of social media is centered around curating our self-image. When selfies first became popular, they were dismissed as vain and vapid—a critique often rooted in misogyny—but now, the way we craft our online selves feels more like creating monuments. We try to signal our individuality, hoping to be seen and understood, but ironically, I think this widens the gap between how others perceive us and who we really are. Instead of fostering connection, it can invite projection and misinterpretation—preconceived notions, prefab labels, and stereotypes. Worse, individuality has become branded and commodified, reducing our identities to products for others to consume. On most platforms, validation often comes from how well you can curate and present your image—selfies, aesthetic branding, and lifestyle content tend to dominate. High engagement is tied to visibility, not necessarily depth or substance. But I think spaces like PI.FYI show that there’s another way: where connection is built on shared ideas, tastes, and interests rather than surface-level content. It’s refreshing to be part of a community that values thoughts over optics. By sharing so few images of myself, I’ve found that it gives others room to focus on my ideas and voice. When I do share an image, it feels intentional—something that contributes to the story I want to tell rather than defining it. Sharing less allows me to express who I am beyond appearance. For women, especially, sharing less can be a radical act in a world where the default is to objectify ourselves. It resists the pressure to center appearance, focusing instead on what truly matters: our thoughts, voices, and authenticity. I’ve posted a handful of pictures of myself in 2,500 posts because I care more about showing who I am than how I look. In trying to be seen, are we making it harder for others to truly know us? It’s a question worth considering.

@taterhole

Dec 27, 2024