where I got invited to a last-minute Zoom meeting with HR and was late and accidentally automatically joined on camera even though I had no pants. The HR lady was like āHey so I have something for you to do today :)ā and I thought we were going to do something fun but she told me I had been accused of PDF convenience.
When I asked her what it meant she didnāt explain and just showed me a screenshot of a joke I had made in Teams. I panicked and texted my attorney friend to ask her what it is; she was surprised that I didnāt know.
HR lady said I had to take a ten-question quiz and get every one of them right or I would be terminated on the spot.
I woke up in a sweat thinking oh my god I canāt believe Iām getting fired for PDF convenience and still halfway in a daze between dreams and reality I googled it and of course itās not a thing
Apr 22, 2024
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Wanted to let my prof know that I was missing class w/ a fever, but I canāt find it anywhere in my email šø
Not in drafts, not in sent, not in scheduled
Where did it go? Did I dream it?
Feb 18, 2025
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āDreamt that I was sitting in the audience of a fashion show and Sarah Jessica Parker told me I had really good hair and asked me and Miranda Kerr to style this modelās hair. Miranda blow dried it and the model said she didnāt like itā she had curly hair. I went on a long epic search for a dry oil then just an oil then realized I could just give her a teensy bit of weleda skin food. Told her to get it really warm/emulsified in her hands and then massage it into ends. She loved itā
āI had to write a check and bring it somewhere but on the way somehow I got caught up talking to Hailey Baldwin who brought me into the Kardashiansā home and I hung out in Kendall Jennerās room and she did back pain yoga with me. Then on my way into the place where I had to bring the check a random group of people were photographing me. One woman in the group said something about my jiggly ass and I told her to not sexually harass strangers. I realized sometime between when I walked in the first set of doors in the building and the second that I lost everything I had in my handsā
āDream where I was trapped in video game where only gameplay was qtesĀ
Rhys Darby was a sexy evil vampire in an ancient library
Edward Cullen was good vampire detectiveĀ
I kept failing qtesā
Apr 18, 2024
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had this dream a few days ago and i can't stop thinking about it.
i was at this very hippie, psychedelic inspired festival but my mom and some other family member were with me also. we are about to leave when i see this huge building overgrown with moss and vines. it looks like a mayan building, not the usual pyramidal temple like thing but more like the inside of a palace that had the height of about 3 two-storey houses.
i walk closer and closer and see the arc of an entrance that i just know is off limits to the public, perhaps because it leads to their sacred city.
a shaman appears from the entrance, makes his way to the open space where lots of peolpe are gathered now as if we were in a theatre. now the lights are all on the 'stage' shining on him as he starts dancing and doing tricks. he has a bunch of different knives, necklaces and artifacts i can't identify and the show feels magical. however, suddenly a man sneaks up to where the shaman has intricately placed his 'props' and takes them one by one. i am watching in utter disbelief about how disrespectful this is but somehow i have this insight that the robber man has been drugged with something that is making him act completely out of character.
the shaman of course notices what he's doing and asks him to leave and give his things back multiple times in the calmest voice. this is until about the 4th time when the guy is finally escorted out of the place by some club bouncers. because of the time trying to get him off the stage took up, the shaman's show had to end early to get back on schedule for whoever is performing next.
i notice i am now sitting at a table, farther from the stage with some of my family, with my mom's best friend on my left side and her husband on my right. the next show starts and it's a hungarian band singing one of the most popular songs in hungary (unfortunately i can not remember which one they played) but it was interrupted by the drugged man who now appears to be on a stretcher, tied down, he's foaming at the mouth, lips swollen to thrice their original size and his eyes look like he had been crying for hours or as if he was having a serious allergic reaction.
i redirect my attention to the menu/table we're sitting at and my legs feel really cold so i ask dora (mom's friend) if she can give me some of the blanket her and the other people are covering their legs with. the blanket is not long enough so she covers only my left leg and her husband my right with the blanket the other side of the table had too lol
dora then starts apologising for not bringing me any presents, even though she knew i would be here.
i ask my mom if there are any news about my childhood best friend (the neighbour that my parents still live beside) and one of my old classmates from primary school because i dreamt of them 2 days before i was in this dream (i remembered the dream i had while dreaming???!!!). but she says no nothing new except old classmate now has an online brownie store (website is xyzbrownie.data) and sells little cereal shape brownies of all kinds of flavours.
the waiter comes and it's my best friend from hungary and she asks me if we're ready to order but my mom's ex-friend cuts me off and asks for a cappuccino.
abruptly i awaken
Jul 17, 2024
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āLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā
ā AnaĆÆs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that Iāve safely landed at the start of my new life. Itās honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think itās important to share.
Iāve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, weād have been together for 11 years, and weāve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with peopleāto rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. Heās been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. Iāve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
Iāve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitelyābut someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and itās going to be tough for a while but Iām going to be better than okay!
Now Iām opening up to you. This isnāt the only abuse Iāve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolationāand breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me š
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyābe it a relative or one of my best friendsāwas to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too š
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ā
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Feb 27, 2025