I have 5 pairs of everyday shoesâ black open-toed heels, tan suede open-toed heels, black close-toed heels, tan close-toed heels, and one tall pair of suede boots. I tend to buy leather or suede with good soles, and keep only one pair of shoes by my door.
I have 5 other pairs of more specific shoesâ one pair of leather sandals, one walking sneaker, one pair of rain boots, one pair of hiking shoes, and trainers.
I have friends who have a lot more variety in their shoes and their closets, and friends who keep only 5 totalâ most of my shoes Iâve had for several years, and I try to keep it to what I have room for.
I donât think this is a hard and fast rule, but I tend to avoid âgoing outâ shoes that only work with one outfit.
Apr 17, 2024
Related Recs
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different lives call for different shoe counts
mine rn though (iâm a pattern cutter but do some metal & woodwork sometimes)
day to day shoes (2x plasticana gardana clogs, adidas superstar)
crossover shoes (morjas penny loafers, lemaire centre seam slippers, our legacy camion mules, supreme/timberland 3 eye mocs, oree derbies)
boots (our legacy camion boots, timbs, oree infantry boots)
of these, i never wear the oree derbies or boots, barely wear the mules, superstars, 3 eye mocs, or one pair of my gardana clogs. camion boots are occasion shoes mostly too. so total? 11 pairs. for regular wear? like 3-4 pairs. maybe i should move off some of these joints tbh
Apr 18, 2024
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1. "Sneakers" -- Everyday, comfortable shoes that present as casual.
2. "Work Shoe" -- It could be a nice loafer, a heel, or steel-toed boots. Regardless, you need them for work.
3. "Workout Shoe" -- Maybe you rock climb and need special shoes, maybe you need those Peloton bike shoes, or maybe they're just Goodwill running shoes.
4. "Slippers" -- Comfortable shoes that are too comfy for the everyday sneaker. You usually wear them in the house. They could be traditional slippers, Crocs, flip-flops, or something similar.
5. Cowboy Boots -- Self explanatory, but obviously optional for some. I have party/going out boots and formal boots, but I'm your friendly neighborhood house party cowboy.
6. "Weather Appropriate" -- The shoes you need for your environment, such as snow boots or warm-weather sandals.
7. "Mania Shoe" -- Optional but encouraged. This is the pair of shoes you bought in the heat of the moment and have worn maybe twice.
Apr 17, 2024
Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse
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Firstly, Iâm so sorry youâre feeling that wayâ thatâs really crummy, and Iâm sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so wellâ other people donât know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you arenât interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people Iâve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. Itâs okay if you donât talk on and on; a lot of âinterestingâ people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesnât mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, Iâm a performer and frankly so many nights Iâm just making noise.
So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a strangerâ look at everything about you like youâve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, itâs okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you loveâ itâs okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years.
Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was coolâ my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. Thatâs okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way thatâs a little different and totally your own.
Itâs okay if it takes timeâ sometimes we have seasons where we donât like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new personâ you havenât met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; itâs good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a childrenâs bookâ I love Howlâs Moving Castle and if Iâm feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though itâs a childrenâs book. If reading isnât your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like youâre a secret criticâ note what you liked, whether itâs costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didnât, and then you can find more things like itâ thatâs how you develop your own taste, and itâs a good way to develop language around art and media.
All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own languageâ you can do that too.
Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.
Feb 19, 2024
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This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way youâve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the spaceâ they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and itâs easy to say âI let you look at my room, that was intimacy,â while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.
May 28, 2024
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I like to let my phone dieâ I often donât charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If youâre able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room.
I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social mediaâ if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing).
Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-oneâ you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our âaudience.â Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: âthis is what I had for breakfast,â âthis is a meme about my mental health,â and we become part of a passive audience in our friendâs lives. We end up feeling like weâve just seen our friends, because weâre âviewingâ their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend.
Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.
Jul 29, 2024