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Remind yourself that other people feel uncertain and anxious more often than you think

Some people are just better at handling it than others. Remember that it’s likely nobody is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about yourself! If people are judging you, this is something you can either learn and grow from if you do something legitimately wrong, or they’re just being rude and critical for no reason and that’s a reflection on them. Give others grace, patience, and the benefit of the doubt and hopefully they’ll do the same for you. Not everybody will like you and that’s okay! And as much as we would like to think we can and as much effort as some may put into it, we can never truly control the way others perceive us. Find ways to develop self esteem and confidence that comes from within based off of traits you admire and respect about yourself regardless of what other people think. I would recommend that you undergo DIY exposure therapy by throwing yourself into lots of social scenarios big and small that make you blush and shake and feel like you want to crawl out of your skin. Go into public places and force yourself to make pleasant small talk with strangers + share something small about yourself with them! Ask people about themselves! Go to a party or an event and make it a goal to talk to X number of people. But also remember that you don’t have to share your whole personality with everyone you meet and depending on the context and circumstances it may not even be appropriate to do so. So maybe start with identifying aspects of your personality you want to show most consistently with everyone you meet and go from there!

@taterhole

May 16, 2024

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social anxiety tips

used to struggle a lot with this, was definitely due in part to a lot of insecurity but also some diagnosed anxiety issues. medication helped for me with the latter, but the insecurity I def had to tackle as I got older. one thing that helped me was framing interactions differently. with an insecure mindset, each interaction has the subconscious goal to have the other person like you. that’s a lot of pressure! of course that will make you nervous if you feel like you’re always being evaluated. truth is some people won’t like you, some people will really like you, but most folks that you only meet in passing aren’t really thinking deeper than the immediate interaction and will find you pleasant if you have basic manners and such. ultimately, though, it’s entirely out of your control how others will perceptive you! instead, I found that interactions are best if you approach them with authenticity and curiosity. all you gotta do is be your true self, people will think what they may but at least you’re being perceived as you and not you trying to perform how you think will be best received. and people generally want to know the people they're around! you should bring that assumption and just let the other person know you. you don’t need to be funny or an expert story teller, getting to know someone can be rewarding in and of itself. and you’re worth knowing! internalizing that truth will develop confidence. in turn, get to know them! over the course of a conversation, you can really learn a lot about someone by just asking questions as they come up. be curious! it’s not prying, people love talking about who they are (within reason obv). interactions are hard if you don’t have anything to go off of, and that will always be awkward. so your goal is just to get to know a bit about who the person you’re interacting with is, maybe you’ll find something that resonates and then the interaction will come so naturally. ultimately, no one thinks about you more than yourself. and that’s not to say you’re insignificant, but most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think too hard about you. whatever little minor thing you did or said, or how you looked or acted, so much of that will not be scrutinized by someone else nearly to the point you’ll scrutinize it because you think they’re scrutinizing it. find some relief knowing that you’re not being microanalyzed by anything other than your own insecurity, and you can choose not to listen.

@royallmonarch

May 13, 2024

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my remedy for social anxiety

remembering that people are wayyy more worried about themselves to notice 😎 be cool be you :* <3 :}

@eggshellmindcracked

Sep 20, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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Starting over

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” — Anaïs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌

@taterhole

Mar 16, 2025

62

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

34

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Finally Quitting the job that you hate

Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅

@taterhole

Feb 27, 2025

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