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your unnecessary questions have kept me from going to the bathroom and now im gonna fart in front of u as punishment
Mar 20, 2024

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Mar 5, 2024
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i was taking my morning constitutional in the office bathroom (handicap stall as always). believing i was alone i let one rip. answering my call was a response toot, loud but short. "okay" i thought. forehead vein popping i released an even louder and significantly longer fart. whatever nerd was two stalls over followed up with a meek retort. he decided to sneak another one out of turn,  pathetic effort to catch me off-guard. rookie move, he clearly doesnt know who the fuck i am. I decided to settle this, a world ender: low and vibrating though my bones finished by a crystal clear triumph somewhere between a trumpet and a goat screaming. heard him flush and leave in a hurry. soft ass bitch. now he knows. didnt even bother washing my hands as i left ✊
Mar 26, 2025
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tmi? idc steal ur wages back, poop on company time
Apr 3, 2024

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laying down very flat in bed after working my icky closing shift at my icky retail job feels so yummy. i can feel my individual spinal cords clicking back into place
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i copied her criterion closet look for work today and i feel wonderful thank you ayo edebiri for being so fashionable and amazing<333
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i like to think that if i knocked on the door of where i lived from birth to age 11, the people that live there now would just let me in without question. just bc it used to be my house.
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