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#felt

my love and I parted ways a few months ago after our 5th anniversary. has truly been the hardest period of my entire life to slowly pick up the pieces and move on, a process that is nowhere near over even as much as I want it to be.
my biggest piece of advice is to surrender to the pain. don’t let yourself be drawn into anger and hatred, just let the crumbling happen. let the tears flow! talk to your friends about it over and over again. sit in silence with the people you love. fall asleep on the couch once in a while.
don’t bother with “why” — it’s a useless question, trust me.

@its_just_kate

Feb 20, 2025

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a list of grief

Making lists has always been therapeutic for me, so I put together all the things that helped me deal with it so far:
1. Read: Shifting the Silence by Etel Adnan (which she wrote about dying), the epilogue of "Like a Urinal in a Nightclub" by Luo Jr Shin (to think of grief as the recognition of love) 2. Listened: Wasteland Baby! by Hozier (while sorting through documents, nice reminder that we are all doomed, but wrapped in love and set to song) 3. Watched: Asteroid City, A Beautiful Day in The Neighbourhood (bonus points if it can be on a plane, on a tiny screen in an aluminium capsule hurtling through space and time with the low low possibility of dying yourself) 4. Think about how long a sound from the dead takes to be embodied - from a performance by Lawrence Abu Hamdan, on the Nuremburg Trials 5. Unsolicited advice from Instagram writer Krystal Buck, "...there are four things that will change you. Love, music, art and loss. The first three will keep you wild and full of passion. May you allow the last to make you brave."
P.S. crying is good, let it flow.

@thisismoy

Aug 19, 2024

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space, music, journaling, hobbies

for me it has been helpful to frame it as getting through heartbreak rather than over - i’ve felt it is more of a journey rather than having an identifiable threshold or fixed point of being “over” the person. so - these are my main recommendations for things to do to get through the heartbreak: this isn’t true for everyone, but for me and most people i know, one of the worst things for processing is being around the person a bit right after—it‘s like making your emotional process and brain not be on the same page—so space is probably the #1 thing i recommend as being useful to fully processing that you’re not together romantically. music (also films/shows too) can help you feel seen and understood—heartbreak is a unique type of hurt. i have like 3-4 playlists from different heartbreaks i have been thru lol! journaling, to process your emotions solo, though sometimes adding a therapist is needed! hobbies (solo or with friends) so you can find ways to do positive & engaging things in your increased spare time! spend some extra time being in love with yourself. ❤️‍🩹 source: my personal misfortunes, trials, & tribulations in love

@marxinista

May 22, 2024

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Top Recs from @trappedinabody

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i switched to a flip phone for a year

felt the same way, was sick of it. got a flip phone i could slip my sim card into, activated it. first two weeks i was kind of itching for the smartphone and the little dopamine hits. after a while things started changing. i started reading for fun again, my attention span improved significantly, i carried a little journal everywhere to jot down my thoughts. in every room where everyone was on their phones, i felt like i was the only person actually present, paying attention. i found so many beautiful ways to fill the time. strangers praised me for my bravery lol. when i had to drive or go somewhere i didn’t know how to get to i would write down the directions on a post it note and carry it or stick it to the dashboard. you will literally feel smarter for relying on your brain to figure things like this out instead of being on autopilot all the time. you can carry your smartphone around to use as an ipod/pocket camera and in an emergency it will still work on wifi. i asked friends to look things up for me (business hours, weather, traffic, phone numbers) when i was out and about. if people texted me id tell them to call me if they wanted to talk. it was a great decision that only ended bc i did an extended trip abroad where i needed my phone to get by, but i am going to go back to the flip again soon. i highly recommend! nothing compares to flipping a phone shut to hang up a call. it taught me how to enjoy true solitude again. do it!!!

@trappedinabody

Feb 27, 2024

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self-compassion

after being raised in a context where you were taught to be hard on yourself, leaning into self-compassion as a way of life in adulthood is truly powerful. hold yourself accountable and give yourself grace when you flounder, both are needed.

@trappedinabody

Mar 3, 2024

25

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smoking cigs

my last “break up” was from a situationship with a guy who i would regularly stay up all night with, chain smoking and talking about every damn thing under the sun. i would often wake up the next day feeling swollen and raspy and like i was doing way too much of a “good” thing. i could never resist him or those damn cigs. when he broke things off unceremoniously, i decided to sever the attachment to my other unhealthy habit at the same time. i haven’t touched a cigarette since.

@trappedinabody

Mar 6, 2024

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