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Maybe every year is just too much. It’s not that exciting, it comes too fast, and you're not sure who really cares.
Being born on this rare date, (and guilty of celebrating on off-years in the past), I’ll say that when the fourth year comes around for me, everything actually feels like maybe a birthday is supposed to feel— exciting, hopeful, a little childish. Everyone cares a little more, and that’s contagious.
5 years would be too round and regular, a depressing milestone. 6 is asking too much. 1,2,3— the stakes are too low.
It’s like the Wold Cup or the ancient Olympics.
4 is perfect.
Feb 29, 2024
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for the last three years (at least) I've noticed every birthday goes the same way- midnight starts off on a good note because I'm surrounded with my friends and there's cake and music and dancing, but when i wake up the next morning there's just this... void. not a sadness in particular, but a feeling of emptiness. i get this strange feeling of having to do something epic or cram my day with activities, cause that's what is expected? cause people are constantly asking 'ooh what plans do you have for your birthday', but what if i just want to stay in and meet some friends and have a nice time? which is exactly what i did this time with a game night, but the void the next morning persisted. i don't think it's because of me thinking of what i've achieved in the last year and how i could have done more. in hindsight, you could have always done more but it was a big year for me- i moved away from home to another continent, started my masters degree and set up my life here. i think it stems from a place of seeing others my age and making comparisons, which is not something i like doing because i have always believed everybody's track is so different and there is no way to make a fair comparison yet i still do so. and so i start thinking to myself, "oh am i too skinny to look like I'm almost in my mid 20s", or "his t-shirt is much cooler than mine", or some other superficial thing that is purely relies on physical appearances. maybe i just miss having someone i can have deep chats with without feeling like I'm boring them or pressurising them to stay and listen, maybe i should just reach out to some friends from back home, which I've always found tough to do but better late than never
Apr 27, 2025
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The concept of birthdays is so human and so touching.
Gathering together to celebrate the fact that someone you know and love completed yet another year on this earth.
The concept of gift giving confused me when it came to birthdays but then I realized living can be made really difficult by a number of different things, and to grow and age is to face unavoidable challenges, so it only makes sense we reward people for the time they’ve endured here.
What a lovely concept that we give presents to people and in return they gift us their presence for yet another day!!
the whole thing has really made me rethink birthday gifts. I try and think of major themes from the year they just completed — music, art, memories, something that played an integral part in helping them grow. it’s also a pretty helpful exercise to assess how much you know about what your friends are perceiving and experiencing day to day.
Mar 29, 2024
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows Café + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
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