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Maybe every year is just too much. It’s not that exciting, it comes too fast, and you're not sure who really cares.
Being born on this rare date, (and guilty of celebrating on off-years in the past), I’ll say that when the fourth year comes around for me, everything actually feels like maybe a birthday is supposed to feel— exciting, hopeful, a little childish. Everyone cares a little more, and that’s contagious.
5 years would be too round and regular, a depressing milestone. 6 is asking too much. 1,2,3— the stakes are too low.
It’s like the Wold Cup or the ancient Olympics.
4 is perfect.
Feb 29, 2024
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The concept of birthdays is so human and so touching.
Gathering together to celebrate the fact that someone you know and love completed yet another year on this earth.
The concept of gift giving confused me when it came to birthdays but then I realized living can be made really difficult by a number of different things, and to grow and age is to face unavoidable challenges, so it only makes sense we reward people for the time they’ve endured here.
What a lovely concept that we give presents to people and in return they gift us their presence for yet another day!!
the whole thing has really made me rethink birthday gifts. I try and think of major themes from the year they just completed — music, art, memories, something that played an integral part in helping them grow. it’s also a pretty helpful exercise to assess how much you know about what your friends are perceiving and experiencing day to day.
Mar 29, 2024
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my birthday often falls the week of thanksgiving, so i usually just take the day off as a "extending the long weekend" if i don't already get it off. since i moved to the west coast ~3 years ago and most of my friends and family are back in new york, every year on my birthday in the morning i make sure to:
1. respond to every single birthday text i got, and if possible hop on a quick call with as many people as i can. basically just a gratitude practice of "hey as i've gotten older i've not only developed meaningful relationships, i've also held onto a lot of meaningful relationships."
2. eat breakfast out; i think my birthday breakfast for the last two years has been Oddfellows Café + Bar (oddfellowscafe.com), but taking the time to have an extra special solo (or with my partner) breakfast keeps the scaries at bay for at least a couple hours
3. going shopping for a birthday gift for myself in person so i have something to open when i get home.
after that it's pretty much just about having a couple extra things to do during my day like trying a new restaurant / going to a favorite for lunch, running a "fun" errand like dropping off film to get scanned, and then meeting local friends for either dinner out and / or cake and games back at my apartment, etc.
having something where i can look back and feel like i did something is all i'm looking for; i think through my late teens / early twenties i put a lot of emphasis on wanting my my birthday to feel "special" which meant it was doomed to not be "special" enough. since pivoting to having fun my birthday has felt a lot more special since it's just different from the monotony of a normal day, and there wasn't any extra pressure on it
Apr 1, 2024
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it’s such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know it’s such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but they’d never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isn’t a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
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