i think before tiktok or instagram there was a more homogeneous idea about what was cool bc magazines had a monopoly on the industry. now that the internet has democratized what gets to be cool there are different types of cool, which is the rise of different competing styles. but these styles arenât really just about like âdo you like low rise jeansâ so much as they are âwhat do the low rise jeans say about youâ which has caused a lot of aesthetics to be simultaneously tied to a specific identity, in turn marketing and influencing has become increasingly niche. i think that certain influencers becoming enmeshed in their aesthetics hasnât helped either where if, for example, tara yummy recommended an eyeliner the goth girls would eat it up, but the clean girls might not care, bc that eyeliner would be contrary to not just their aesthetic, but identity. but if tara yummy was emily mariko the opposite effect would happen to both camps, if that makes sense.
TLDR; niche aesthetics and microindivduality is killing mass marketing
Feb 18, 2024
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we are rapidly losing the existence of genuine Subcultures that emerge from a cultural or historical inflection point. hence, trendiness - trends and aesthetics norms are a huge selling point for brands of all shades and stripes, its standing in for what subculture was doing the heavy lifting for. add in the ability to purchase online right thru algorithm machines a la TikTok and Instagram⌠voila! a captive audience to sell trendiness to
Feb 19, 2024
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the social internet (and rapid, inescapable commercialization thereof) makes it so that you are what you consume, not what you do, not where you go, not who you spend your time with. before if you bought the clothes or the gear without doing it or without being in community, you were a poser. if you monetized or commercialized that interest and put those incentives over expression and connection, you were a sellout. but that doesnât exist anymore â democratization and anti-gatekeeping as both ideas and ends of an algorithm to maximize surface area for consumption have made it so that there isnât a distinct authority on what you can attach to your identity or how you express yourself
but if the extent of our agency in a democratized landscape is to only to consume more instead of producing or connecting, or to produce only to commodify ourselves for money or internet points, then maybe itâs a different kind of âbeing influenced by social trends rather than authentic interestâ than going to a skate park, or an open mic, or a restaurant, or whatever because we heard about it somewhere and wanted to check it out, and de-centering the internet from what we see on it and how we engage with it is a way to make that healthier or more generative for ourselves, and can create beauty without immediately thinking about how to fit into a box along lines drawn by advertisers
Jan 15, 2025
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I don't know how well this actually answers your initial question, I think it's more of a counterpoint to some of the stuff people have already said, but here it goes.
In the past (prior to social media or search engines) specific styles, specialized knowledge, and niche awareness actually took effort. You had to go out into the world and find a scene, be accepted, participate in it, contribute to it, and learn from others with specific knowledge within the specific sub- or counter-cultural scene. It took time, effort, and experience to craft an identity. Nowadays people cycle through various identities and trends like commodities because it takes no effort (they're sold to them by social media algorithms, influencers, brand accounts, etc.). It comes to you in your phone without you ever even having to leave the house or put in the time to discover it or participate in it (you just follow specific people or subscribe). You can be a passive observer or consumer, not an active contributor. As a result, you're not invested or tied down and committed to that core identity. You can cosplay depending on your mood or who you want to momentarily convey yourself as, because it's easy. Essentially, being a poser has become normalized. An identity is now something to be momentarily consumed and affected, rather than grown, built, and developed over time.
Granted, it's always been different in regards to "mass" culture and popular trends (both in the past and now). Those are impossible to miss and were always monopolized by specific trend setting institutions, but always by the time it gets to that point, the actual initial counter- or sub-culture that inspired it has already been coopted and has started to disintegrate under the weight and attention of mass consumption.
Feb 18, 2024
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if you think youâre the smartest person in your friend group youâre weird and annoying. the best friendships come out of mutual awe and respectability. be friends with people who make you want to know more things.
Jan 29, 2024
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i will never be in a situationship in the same way i will never be in the land of oz--it's just not real. i think using the word doesn't let you self-reflect in a way that is truly helpful. i was telling my friend about the awkwardness of seeing an exhook up in a relationship bc i thought we had mutual feelings and she said "oh your exsituationship" and i thought (for the first time) no, we had clear boundaries i just got my hopes up. my point is that instead of using situationship as a catch-all for not quite dating or wtv failed prospect, take it as a moment to reflect on what exactly went wrong. idk if this is profound or not
Jan 30, 2025
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idk if any of this will be remotely helpful, but this is generally how i see socializing
to find friends:
1. do something consistently
2. do something where other people are also (generally) by themselves
3. do something that requires discussion
exercise classes, coffee shops, open studios, libraries, organizing/protesting/charity work; really to acquire friends you just have to do things that's it. do things you like so you are around people who share similar interests and thus will have a higher "friend hit rate" but really the most essential point on the list is the first one (the other two are nice bonus'). with enough consistency you become noticed and then boom.
on becoming friends:
1. open invites
2. follow ups
now that you've just met some people, get them into your circle by open inviting them to things. if you're going out later that night, offer for them to join. if you're both in a pottery class maybe offer an open invite to a gallery you're visiting. this is how you shift casual acquaintances to actual friends. the important thing is to concretize your plans tho. you're not trying to pressure them but you do want to make them feel like it was more than just a vapid offer, so after you suggest it wait a bit and follow up with details. this also goes for the reverse of being given an open invite.
on being friends:
1. do
the best piece of advice (which might have come from pi.fyi) is that sometimes you just need to be the doer. maybe you see a tiktok about a picnic with friends and you think dang wouldn't it would be cool if my friends did that. well, there's nothing stopping you, you have to be the friend that does stuff. obviously this is a little time consuming and exhausting but generally people want to pay it forward so once you get the ball rolling on the friend group doing stuff, people usually follow suit
also fear is the mind killer, go forth and be
Jan 27, 2025