I realized a few years ago that my desire and attempts to look a certain way were failing. It wasnāt realistic, and it was making me feel inauthentic, empty, and unhappy. Cameras capture every thing, so itās easy to dwell on imperfections. But thatās not how people experience you. Itās not how others think about you or see you. Imagine how critical you are of yourself and imagine someone else being that critical of another person. Youād think thereās something wrong with them! Who focuses on a personās looks that much! Get a life you misery!
Thatās how we treat ourselves. Thereās an epidemic happening where everyone wants and is going out and getting the same face. The same body. Itās so boring. Your āflawsāāas society has taught you to think about themāare not flaws. They make you unique. Memorable. They make you beautiful. To love yourself is active resistance in an economy fueled by obsession over flaws and unhappiness.
One of the actors in White Lotus, Aimee Lou Woods has some objectively flawed teeth. But thatās what makes her so unique, so special. So cute! They make her attractive because sheās unapologetic about them.
Embracing my big goofy smile and big ears and crinkled crows feet makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. That feeling is so powerful. It spreads to other parts of your life and attracts people to you. Itās how you carry yourself, how you move in the world, engage with other peopleā not how you look.