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📓
once you're in your mid-twenties, gather your closest companions around your bed and let them into your inner child...it will show them you’ve always been the hilarious, insightful, complex female character that you are today
Nov 9, 2023
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📚this girl wrote a diary in the year 1020, and she’s just like I was at her age. She prays in her room in secret thusly: “Please grant that I should go to the capital as soon as possible where there are so many tales, and please let me get to read all of them.”
And later she does get to read the book she wants to read: “With my heart pounding with excitement, I was able to read, right from the first chapter, the Tale of Genji, this tale that had confused me and made me impatient when I had read only a piece of it. With no one bothering me, I just lay down inside my curtains, and the feeling I had as I unrolled scroll after scroll was such that I would not have cared even if I had had a chance to become empress!”
I remember being her age and feeling the same way about reading, and feeling like I wanted to devour the whole world with my eyes and mind. Now it is harder to keep that feeling, but I think it is still possible - when was the last time you felt that grateful for something? When was the last time it felt like a gift to be able to read? I’m going to try to channel her more this year if I can. I linked a translation of her journal for anyone who wants to read it :—3
And later she does get to read the book she wants to read: “With my heart pounding with excitement, I was able to read, right from the first chapter, the Tale of Genji, this tale that had confused me and made me impatient when I had read only a piece of it. With no one bothering me, I just lay down inside my curtains, and the feeling I had as I unrolled scroll after scroll was such that I would not have cared even if I had had a chance to become empress!”
I remember being her age and feeling the same way about reading, and feeling like I wanted to devour the whole world with my eyes and mind. Now it is harder to keep that feeling, but I think it is still possible - when was the last time you felt that grateful for something? When was the last time it felt like a gift to be able to read? I’m going to try to channel her more this year if I can. I linked a translation of her journal for anyone who wants to read it :—3
Rec
📗truly felt like reading my own journals from when I was 18, 19, but infinitely more discerning and eloquent!
“O my self, I will be sincere, sincere to you, completely sincere.”
“I will suffer; that is all. I will be strong enough.”
“I take back everything; I give up all faithfulness … I would like to live! I am going to live ... I am giving myself up; I am letting everything collapse, and I will start over again with something else. I am no longer paying attention to moral values; I am no longer seeking to do something. I want to be, to be. My beloved self, on an evening of exaltation, I promised you I would love you well.”
“O my self, I will be sincere, sincere to you, completely sincere.”
“I will suffer; that is all. I will be strong enough.”
“I take back everything; I give up all faithfulness … I would like to live! I am going to live ... I am giving myself up; I am letting everything collapse, and I will start over again with something else. I am no longer paying attention to moral values; I am no longer seeking to do something. I want to be, to be. My beloved self, on an evening of exaltation, I promised you I would love you well.”
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