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On Franklin Avenue between Madison and Monroe in Clinton Hill someone owns and keeps five chickens in a little street-facing yard. If you happen to live within walking distance of these chickens, I recommend incorporating them into a regular walking loop. If you’d like you can call this a “chicken run.” When you arrive at the chickens, you’ll find a gumball machine filled with chicken feed that takes quarters, so make sure to bring coins to pay your dues. Their names are Baby, Spicy, Sporty, Scary, and Posh, or just “the girlies.” If you’re lucky they’ll eat right out of the palm of your hand.
Jun 6, 2023

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I feel like it’s popular to hate on assigned seating so I want to show my support. When you assign my seat, you’re doing me a favor. You’re freeing me from the tyranny of choice, or the burden of asserting myself. Walking into a wedding reception to find my name on a little tag with a table number—my fate decided, nothing I can do about it now—is heaven. Walking into a movie theater and knowing my seat is saved is a perfect experience. No notes.
Jun 6, 2023
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A while ago while writing an essay I broke my living room window. I simply set my foot against it while typing and pressed. The next day I searched for a local business to replace it and discovered Bernie’s Glass & Mirror. If you’re lucky enough to need a window or mirror fixed in Brooklyn, I can’t recommend Bernie enough. He’ll come huffing into your living room with a rotten New York attitude and stay to chat with you for as long as he pleases. He may scold you for saying something completely innocuous like “do you need help moving my couch out of the way?” He may show you photos he once took as a professional wedding photographer. He will certainly bitch about his kids (“millenniums”) who don’t want to take over the family business. And your window will look like new.
Jun 6, 2023
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Optical 88 is an optometrist in Chinatown that turns around prescriptions in a single day for $80. Just bring the glasses you want to fill and your prescription and they will treat you like a queen. I think they'll also check your prescription for free but I'm not sure because I already had mine, that's just what the girls at Fabulous Fanny's told me. That's where I bought my frames btw—if you want to make a real day of it, start there, pick out some frames, then walk 10 minutes to Optical 88 and you'll be set in 24 hours.
Jun 6, 2023