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When Roman, Frank and Carl are in a hostage situation in Season 2 of Succession, they’re playing “Fuck, Mary, Kill” and when they turn to Carl for his turn, he simply says “Look, full disclosure, I am currently having a panic attack.” I rarely express my anxiety in public (or private situations) and felt incredibly seen by Carl in this moment.
Aug 30, 2023

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i’m safe! for now…
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On July 13th, I had an episode. A mental one. I completely lost it at work. No, no one caused it, I wasn't attacked, berated, crushed by some coworker or customer, (alphabetical Tripel, triple C dribble). Today, right now, I was scared it was going to happen again. It's now a new fear, and for some weird reason, I'm not scared. It feels natural.
Anxiety is apparently in most animals, used to protect oneself from predators and danger in general. It's kind of funny, humans have become so fucking spoiled, we literally have it all, and yet, my wide eyes constantly switch from time to time to time to time to time to time to time (yadda yadda).
Thought I almost lost this, I accidentally swiped down and saw my faded blurry IG filter clown face. So with that, i'll end it here, and maybe i'll write some more idk.
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something is like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHwiggling around under my skin and all these people in this Panera with me CAN TELL help.
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