second gen indian immigrant to aus - was not taught language/culture/religion/customs/anything and have always felt bad about it. have been to India a few times and met various family members but for such a short time, and as a kid, that nothing stuck. have half-heartedly tried to learn Hindi a couple of times throughout my life but the emotions/guilt always gets in the way and I stop. now in India for one of the first times as an adult, and feeling just absolutely awful. so so sad that I don't know anything, that I am so disconnected from the rest of my family and ancestors and culture, that my knowledge of India and culture is no deeper or more personal than any person from the west doing a cursory google search. gut wrenchingly guilty that all previous generations in my family line have led to me, in one generation, in my short life, losing the thread of it, and being this absolute shell of a person with no ties to anything. what do I do??? to reconcile this or feel even a little bit better. because right now the desire is to get back from this trip and shut myself away and not talk to anyone or do anything ever